A Little Therapy
by VixenOnFire
Summary: Carlisle gets the surprise of his life when one of his patients decides to take things to the next level, igniting a chain reaction that will force him to make a choice before the truth comes out.  AH, Lemon, Carlisle/Bella/Esme
1. Chapter 1: Flames of Desire

**A Little Therapy**

**Pairing: ** Carlisle/Bella/Esme

**Summary:** Carlisle gets the surprise of his life when one of his patients decides to take things to the next level, igniting a chain reaction that will force him to make a choice before the truth comes out. AH, Lemony goodness throughout.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to these characters. No copyright infringement intended. Any likeness to another story is coincidental and also not intended. Warning: Contains adult content, mature situations and language. Lemon drizzle for twimuses weekly prompt.

**A/N:** This is just a short lemon drizzle. Hope you enjoy it! - After some thought and prodding from a friend, I've decided to carry on with this story._ Since I can't choose 3 characters, it will remain listed under Bella/Carlisle, but it will involve a third character as well that plays a major part._ A HUGE thanks to my beta hmmille!

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><p><strong>Chapter One-Flames of Desire<strong>

A slight tease of my cock, and a playful nip at my lips, was all it took for me to submit to Bella's insatiable desires. I wanted her in the worst way, but this had to be done in secret. Who knew what my colleagues would think of such an act; it was hardly customary for a doctor to so hastily jump at the chance of seducing his patient. However, it wasn't as if I could stop myself from fulfilling every one of her outrageous fantasies now that her bare legs were wrapped firmly around my waist.

I wondered if Bella's boyfriend knew of her ferocious appetite for the opposite sex. If he did, he certainly wasn't taking care of her needs. She'd come to me out of the blue months ago seeking a consult in regards to her dull love life, but we'd never engaged in anything sexual until tonight. On more than one occasion, Bella had insinuated that she had feelings for me, and at the time, I couldn't even process the thought. I was her therapist, her doctor, so I couldn't cross that line. As the conversations carried on though, the idea of Bella's body pressed tightly against mine started to consume me.

When I walked into my office this evening, I'd expected to be buried under a mountainous pile of paperwork, but instead, I was met with a beautiful smile from the half- naked woman that was now kissing her way up my neck as if we were more like long lost lovers rather than a Doctor and his patient.

"This is wrong," I said feebly. I didn't really want her to stop. "I'm your Doctor."

"Don't hold back, Carlisle," she purred in my ear. "I want to feel you inside of me."

I had no control over myself as Bella pushed me against my desk where my white coat and shirt had been tossed to the side earlier, and straddled me completely. I gave her ass a hungry squeeze before running a finger along the saturated lining of her underwear.

"You're so wet," I groaned.

"Play with me," she whispered, tearing the fabric from her thighs.

"With pleasure."

My fingertips traveled up her body and over the red, lace pattern of her bra, removing the barrier at the same time that she slid my pants to the floor. Within what seemed like only seconds, my throbbing cock parted her wet folds and I was lost to the immense pleasure that her tight center ignited within me.

"Dear God," I moaned into her hair. All thoughts of professional etiquette had vanished.

Bella let out a little whine of satisfaction as she moved up and down on top of me, propelling my hips to buck up into her even harder. Stroke after stroke, I thrust into her incredible body, just taking the time to ensure that my hard length caressed every inch of her desire. I watched as her eyes rolled back, and a seductive smile crossed her face. She was stunning in this light, but I hadn't the presence of mind to understand the complications that would surely follow our sinful deed. I simply leaned up, placed my lips at the hollow of Bella's throat, and kissed my way down to her succulent breasts.

My tongue flicked across her peaked nipples, savoring the immense thrill of finally tasting her flesh. It was unlike anything that I'd ever experienced, and I wanted more.

"Fuck yes," she groaned. I didn't look up. I was completely submerged under the raging waves of paradise that her body brought to mine.

Suddenly, Bella weaved her fingers into my hair, urgently holding me against her breasts. I couldn't move, nor did I want to. The only thing that I craved was to bring this Goddess to the brink of euphoria and suspend time so that she would always remember the feel of my length between her thighs. But time was not an option here in the office, and I was already so close to the edge. I could feel Bella's vice-like walls squeezing around my cock as if her body had been waiting for nothing more than this moment. The sheer unadulterated bliss was too much for me to handle.

"I can't stop," I whimpered.

"Give it to me," she panted. "All of it."

Her words were so commanding and titillating to my ears that I immediately bit down on her breast, pushing myself quickly inside of her again. Bella's body lurched forward, drawing me in deeper as she yanked on a few locks of my hair and forced me to look up.

"You're such a good therapist, Carlisle," she grunted.

"Call me Doctor Cullen." I couldn't help it. I wanted to hear that name fall from Bella's lips.

"Oh, and you're kinky too. I like it," she said. A trace of something devilish lay just under the surface of her words that made me want to tease my temptress even more.

"I have been known to have several peculiar needs," I breathed out, sneaking a kiss as she flashed me another amused grin.

"In that case, fuck me, _Doctor_ Cullen."

"Again, again!" I pleaded.

"Harder, Doctor Cullen. Teach me how to be a good girl," she begged in return.

The sound of Bella coaching me into my release pushed me right over the threshold. With one massive thrust, I spilled into her with numerous, violent bursts while I gripped onto her ass for dear life. The moment that she felt my orgasm, Bella parted my lips with her tongue and followed suit. The intense spasms radiated from her body, slithering their way through my shaft, causing me to come a second time.

"Oh, fuck!" I shouted, collapsing back onto my desk with Bella.

The old wood protested with a series of splintering cracks, but neither of us paid any attention to the noise. We were both just staring at each other in shock, unable to believe what had transpired between us and wondering where on earth we were going to go from here.


	2. Chapter 2: Avoidance

**A/N:** After a little push from a friend of mine, I decided to continue writing this story. It's mainly a Bella/Carlisle, but it will have a little twist in the next few chapters. Hope you like it! And I love my beta hmmille! :)

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><p><strong>Chapter Two—Avoidance<strong>

I'd spent the past three days on a much needed sabbatical. Not only had I broken the professional code of conduct expected for someone of my stature, I'd also engaged in sexual activity at the office—both of which were strictly prohibited. Bella had called several times since then, but I'd let her messages go to voicemail. I didn't have the heart to tell her that what we did was wrong; I was her therapist, and nothing good could come out of this situation. Even with that knowledge, it was impossible to stop the images of our escapade from taunting me —her supple breasts melting in my mouth, the touch of her hand as it brushed against my cock, and the smell of her hair fluttering about my face. If it wasn't for the frequent periods of self-gratification, I'd probably have lost my fucking mind by now.

"Welcome back," Doctor Peters said as he rushed past me in a blur. I offered a simple nod, and retreated into my office.

It might just have been my imagination, but it felt like in that one glance, Peters was accusing me of the awful deed that had happened right here in this very room. I knew that there was no possible way for him to even know what had occurred, but it still felt very awkward to be back at work.

Bella's perfume seemed to be lingering in the room, driving me even further into my delirious state. Everywhere I looked, I saw the aftermath of our spontaneous encounter. The cracks in my desk weren't visibly apparent, but I knew that they were there. Without much thought at all, my fingertips ran along the mahogany frame, feeling for the splinters of wood. The reminder of what we'd done prickled against my skin, and I drew my hand back almost as quickly as I'd allowed the action to take place.

"I need a new desk," I sighed.

Maybe the new piece of furniture would help to burn away the memory. But did I really _want_ to burn it away?

I couldn't deny that Bella gave me something that no other woman had in my forty years of existence, including a sore back. I hadn't touched a woman in nearly three years, and my body felt thoroughly ridden. Although she was only a little more than half my age, Bella seemed very confident in her ways, something that was lacking in a few of my older patients. The girl knew what she wanted, and didn't hesitate to reach for her goals. Up until the past few days, I hadn't realized that I'd been one of those goals.

During our weekly sessions, Bella always brought up the lack of excitement in her ongoing relationship with Edward Platt. I'd listened to her ramble on for hours about how he didn't enjoy role play, dirty talk, or any other out of the ordinary sexual behavior. She was so frustrated with his reluctance to even entertain the idea that she'd been contemplating breaking off their engagement. For the past year, I'd offered her support and advice in a professional capacity, but now I feared that because of our intimacy, things were about to take a drastic turn.

"Doctor Cullen, your first appointment is here," a familiar, nasal voice stated through the intercom.

"Thank you, Marge," I answered before switching off the infernal machine. Patients should be escorted to my office, not passed off via some contraption. Nevertheless, I adjusted my white coat, and walked to the door to greet my first patient of the day.

"Where have you been?"

Bella's words went unnoticed by me. How could I have been so stupid? I hadn't even checked my schedule after my hasty retreat from Doctor Peters. I'd been so distracted by just the mere thought of her that I'd forgotten it was Tuesday.

"Earth to Doctor Cullen," she snapped. The sound of my professional name escaping her lips made my cock twinge in anticipation, but all I could do was stare. "Hello?"

I shook my head to clear the fog. "I didn't realize we had an appointment today."

"I called you," she continued. "Why didn't you answer?"

She purposely brushed against me and entered my office, tossing her tattered purse onto the floor. I didn't know what to say. I hadn't called her for several reasons, none of which I could really speak of out loud without hurting her feelings. She seemed to be waiting for an answer though, so I closed the door and casually walked over to the leather seat near the window, doing my best to remain calm. Internally, I was going out of my mind. She just looked so luscious in her lavender camisole that I wanted to tear the clothing from her body, and explore my deepest urges.

"Are you going to answer me?" she asked, taking a seat on the long, white couch across from me.

"Yes, sorry," I mumbled in response. "I was out of town."

Okay, so it was a lie, but Bella wouldn't know that I'd spent the past 72 hours hiding in my apartment thinking about her. A part of me wondered if she'd been doing the same, though with Edward to keep her company, I doubted it.

"Where did you go?"

_Crap_, I thought to myself. I had to fabricate another answer. "I went to see my mother in Michigan. How have you been?"

Changing the subject seemed like the best idea.

"Confused," she sighed as she sprawled out on the couch. "I thought you'd at least call me."

How in the world was I going to cope with this? I wanted Bella; that much was fact. However, I couldn't get past our current situation—doctor versus patient. If she wasn't my patient, at least my conscious would be a little clearer.

"Maybe it would be better if we severed contact with each other."

The words had sounded simple in my mind, but as I spoke them, I saw a hint of pain flash across Bella's features.

"You don't want to see me anymore?" she whimpered.

This was not the take charge Bella Swan that I was used to. I never could understand why she seemed so overly confident in my office, but she spoke of Edward in such a way that it made her seem rather shy to me. Maybe he was the dominant one in their relationship, or perhaps it was _Bella_ that wanted to be dominated since she always took the lead with everything else in her life. Was it possible—even after all these months of being her therapist—that I had yet to unravel the mysteries of her heart? Was she hiding some kind of dependency that I was unaware of? Bella had always struck me as the type of girl to set her eyes on the prize and do whatever it took to get it, but now I wasn't so sure that she was actually capable of standing up to the male persona. She needed to feel loved, and here I was turning her down.

"It's not that I don't want to see you," I replied. My voice was shaking slightly, and I didn't know why. "I just feel like we crossed a line. You're my patient."

"So you _do_ want to see me then?"

I ran my hands down my face. A slight groan escaped me. "Bella, it's a breach of my ethics."

"Well, you didn't have a problem with your ethics the other night."

She was right. I'd tossed those beliefs straight out the window the moment she'd touched me. If she came anywhere near me right now, I knew that the same thing would happen. She was impossible to resist.

"I could fire you as my patient, you know."

"But you won't," she smirked. There was my Bella—the one who didn't take no for an answer. "I think we both know that."

Again, she was right. I didn't think that I would ever be able to terminate our arrangement.

"If we can agree that this can never happen again, then I will continue to treat you."

"Cross my heart, and hope to die," she giggled.

For some reason, I had a hard time believing that this was the end of the matter.


	3. Chapter 3: Distractions

**Chapter Three—Distractions**

The sun poured through my window, awakening me to the first free day I'd had in weeks. Between my patients and my overly enthusiastic boss, I'd been working at least 70 hours or more since my three day sabbatical. Despite my earlier concerns, the situation with Bella had calmed. She was once again my star patient, and we'd not engaged in any type of flirtatious behavior during our sessions. Part of me was relieved to have things back to normal, the other part was screaming to change my mind. I still wanted her, even if it was wrong.

After a quick breakfast, I headed out for my morning jog. There was a slight chill to the air that reminded me of the autumn months back home in London. Living in Seattle, I found the weather to be very similar to the rainy days that I grew up with. However, today the sun was shining, casting a deceptive glow on the actual crisp temperature outside.

It didn't take long for me to fall into stride, and I was soon running at a nice pace through the city park. I lived for days like this—ones without obligations and responsibilities. I could be myself out here, and there would be no one spilling their life story to me in some stuffy office building. I'd done my best to push past what had happened with Bella, but everywhere I turned, I could still smell the sweet fragrance of what we'd done, like it was burned into my memory.

"On your left!"

The voice came from nowhere, and suddenly I felt someone slam into me, sending my body skittering across the pavement. My knee collided with the solid path, breaking open the skin upon impact. The stranger that had crashed into me flew over my head and landed several paces from where I rested on the ground.

"Are you okay?" I asked, limping over to the crumbled heap. I could see a woman's body laying hunched at the base of a tree, clutching her right thigh.

"I will be," she answered softly. I couldn't place it, but there was something about her voice that called to me. "I'm so sorry I ran into you."

The pain in my knee was all but forgotten as the woman turned to face me. She was remarkably beautiful with long, caramel hair and a pair of green eyes that were so captivating that I almost forgot how to talk. "Let me help you up."

She took my hand and offered me a brilliant smile that seemed to reach the corners of her eyes.

"Thank you," she said, getting to her feet. "Again, I'm really sorry about that. Are you all right?"

"I will be," I replied in just the same manner as she had moments before.

I didn't know what she found so funny, but suddenly she began to laugh.

"What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," she giggled. "It's just…well, look at us. Two old folks out in the middle of the park at the crack of dawn, and now we'll both be limping home to lick our wounds."

"I don't know about you, but_ I'm_ not old," I chuckled. "Do you need help back to your car?"

Playfully, she shoved me back onto the path. "I'm not in a walker—yet. I'm Esme, it's nice to meet you."

"Esme? That's an unusual name. I'm Carlisle," I grinned, reaching out to shake her hand. Her skin was so soft, and I was instantly filled with an intense urge to let my hand wander.

"Your name is Carlisle, and you think _my_ name is odd?" Esme laughed again.

"All right, laugh it up," I teased, reluctantly letting go of her hand.

"I'd better get going before my son calls the police and files a missing persons report."

She started to move away, and I gently grabbed her arm a second time as a sudden thought occurred to me. Maybe I needed to pursue another woman in order to purge Bella from my thoughts. Esme was exactly my type, and I had to at least give her my number. I had no idea if she was married, but the absence of a ring on her finger gave me a decent indication that it was probably okay to ask my question.

"Hey, wait," I said, reaching in my pocket for a business card. I always carried them with me in a protective sleeve, even on my days off. "Maybe you could call me some time?"

She took the card, gave it a quick glance, and slipped it down the front of her blue shirt. "Your last name is Cullen? Your first and last initials are the same—another thing we have in common. My last name is Evenson."

"Esme Evenson and Carlisle Cullen. That's very interesting." I cracked a small grin.

"We'll see about that phone call. Have a good day."

Before I could plead my case, Esme disappeared down the path as if she'd never even been injured in the first place.

I hurried home to clean up as best as I could. The gash upon my knee hindered the process a little bit, but I didn't feel the pain until I stepped into the shower. The moment the water grazed the surface of my wound, I let out a gasp of agony. It was worth it though; I'd met a gorgeous woman because of it, and I hoped that she was sincere about taking me up on my offer.

After my shower, I headed back out into the city. Groceries were a necessity, and it was very rare that I was given a chance to actually shop for myself. Usually, I ended up eating takeout food from _Mr. Wang's House of Noodles_, but if I was lucky enough to get an opportunity like this one, I never wasted it.

The store was packed with its regular allotment of patrons, each of them shopping for something in particular. Much like everyone else, I knew exactly where I needed to go. Amongst the endless rows of junk food, I spotted what I was looking for—Doritos. I had an addiction to the cheese flavored tortilla chips. As I reached for the bag, I felt a hand brush against my ass, causing me to spin around.

"Fancy meeting _you_ here." Bella stood there with a big grin plastered all over her face.

"Well, hey there," I laughed, feeling slightly relieved that it was someone I knew rather than a stranger taking liberties with my backside. "I didn't know that you shopped here."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

I stared at Bella for a moment, just taking in her words and the familiar smile that never seemed to leave her lips when she was around me. I was curious as to why I'd never seen her here before—not to mention all the other things that I apparently didn't know about her—even though I'd been treating her for close to a year. I felt the same odd sensations that had surfaced the day I'd told her that I wouldn't see her anymore if she couldn't behave, but my inquisitive nature was overpowering any other thoughts. I wanted to know what drove her to act the way that she did. I needed to figure out what made the girl tick.

"Such as?" I asked.

"Well, for starters, I happen to like Doritos myself." She picked a bag of cool ranch off of the shelf, and slipped it into her basket. "And secondly, I shop for food completely naked."

My mouth dropped open as I surveyed her clothing. She was wearing a long, black overcoat and matching stilettos that amplified the curves of her legs. Did she mean that she was wearing absolutely nothing underneath that jacket? And more importantly, why did I find myself wanting to know?

"I, uh…" I had no words to answer her statement. My voice trailed off and was thankfully drowned out by the sound of the store manager announcing a special on dried fruit in aisle three.

"Don't act so shy. You're my therapist, after all. You should be used to this by now."

I wasn't used to it, not in the slightest. One minute, Bella was the woman I'd always known. Then the next minute, she became either a devious seductress, or a timid little girl. Maybe she was suffering from some kind of multiple personality disorder, or perhaps she was just very confused about our boundaries. Either way, the thought of her naked flesh only inches away from my fingertips was causing my cock to protest with the utmost urgency.

"I have to go," I reluctantly whispered. _God_, I didn't want to go at all.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I did it again, didn't I?"

"No need to be sorry, Bella. You just caught me off guard, that's all. Can I help you out to your car or something?"

It was the second time that I'd asked a woman that very same question today, for some reason I felt guilty about it. Talk about playing the field.

"I walked here."

My brows shot up. "It's pretty cold outside. Maybe I should drive you home."

_Jesus, Carlisle, what the hell are you doing?_

"I'd like that."

I paid for what little groceries I'd managed to collect before running into Bella, and ushered her out to the car. My intentions had been purely innocent, but the moment we turned onto her street, I wanted nothing more than to accompany her inside for a quick fuck.

"Thanks for the lift. Do you want to come up for a coffee?"

"No, I shouldn't."

It wasn't a lie. I really shouldn't be having coffee—or anything else for that matter—with my patients.

"It's the least I can do, _Doctor_ Cullen."

Was she doing this on purpose? Did she understand how the sound of that name ignited a fire between my thighs?

"All right, just a quick one."

With a slight groan, I exited the Mercedes, and followed Bella up to her apartment.

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><p><strong>AN: Much more to come now that things are about to get a little saucy for poor old Doctor Cullen ;)**

**And a huge thanks to my wonderful beta hmmille!**


	4. Chapter 4: Playing the Field

**Chapter Four—Playing the Field**

"Fuck, I overslept!" I shouted as I darted out of Bella's queen sized bed and scrambled around her messy room in search of my clothes.

I'd really done it this time—spending the night with Bella had been a foolish mistake. What if her fiancée had come home from his night shift early and found another man banging the hell out of his soon to be wife?

All night we'd tossed between the sheets, just ravishing each other as if we'd never fucked before. We hadn't been able to get enough of it. At some point, I think I might have even torn the stuffing out of a few pillows as she went down on me. Her lips felt like heaven around my cock, and as I gathered my belongings, I knew the bulge in my jeans was growing just from the thought of it possibly happening again.

"Promise me you'll come to your session on Tuesday," I begged. I needed to see her again—to hell with ethics and fiancées.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

With a quick kiss to her forehead, I slipped on my clothes and raced to work, stopping along the way to change into something more appropriate for the office. Thank God that my groceries survived the night. I didn't really want to go shopping again.

The day seemed to drag on endlessly. I'd barely paid attention to Mrs. Hutchinson sobbing on the couch about her husband's obsessive need for beanie babies in the bedroom, nor did I really listen to the next couple reciting their most recent sexual hiccup. All I could think about was being back in that bedroom with Bella, attending to every one of her needs. The events had happened so suddenly that I wasn't sure who'd made the first move. I only knew that I hadn't made it past the front door before her lips were pressed against mine, and I was instantly hard for my vixen. There wasn't a chance to pull away, her hands were everywhere. It had been the best sex that I'd ever had in my entire life, and I wanted more.

As blasphemous as it was to need the touch of a patient—and a taken one at that—I couldn't deny myself the pleasure any longer. It was futile to attempt resisting what I craved so badly. I knew that I should dismiss her as a patient since my license was on the line, but if she was still under my care that meant that I would get to see her at least once a week, if not more. I wasn't about to give that up.

When the clock struck five, I made a break for the door. As I twisted the stainless steel knob and stepped out into the hallway, I was met with a face that I had all but forgotten. "Esme?"

She smiled and nodded. "Surprised to see me?"

"A little, yes—what are you doing here?"

"Didn't they tell you?" she asked, a bit confused. "I'm your next patient."

"There must be some mistake. My hours end at five."

She frowned. "Well, I suppose I could reschedule."

Seeing her lips curve downward made me wince. I didn't want this beautiful woman sad in any way. Against my better judgment, I stepped aside to allow her entrance. "Nonsense, please come in."

The frown disappeared instantly, and Esme strolled into my office, taking a seat on the white couch across from my usual spot. Her hair was twisted into a bun, making her face look slimmer than the last time we'd talked. Two bruise-like circles encapsulated her eyes, showing a hint of fatigue just under the surface. She seemed to be slightly nervous as I leaned back in my chair and opened my notebook, though most patients usually felt somewhat out of place on their first visit.

"Nice office," she said as she glanced around the room. Her eyes lingered on my certification hanging on the wall just off to the left.

"It serves its purpose," I chuckled. "What brings you in today?"

Esme's green eyes returned their attention to me. "I figured an appointment was the best way to see you again."

I couldn't help the smile that flashed across my face. She did something to me. I'd felt it back in the park the other day. It was like her eyes could see through to my very soul.

"So this is a social call?"

"Sort of," she laughed. "I have my fair share of issues, starting with an ex-husband and a son that's entirely too protective of me. If he knew I was here now, he'd probably be breaking down the door. I thought it would be easier this way."

"Easier for what?"

"To see you again, like I said."

I closed my notebook, unsure of if I'd heard her correctly. "I'm sorry, I don't follow."

"My son is not very understanding when it comes to other men in my life. My ex-husband wasn't exactly the nicest man in the world, and I'm afraid it's taken a toll on him. I thought that if we were to meet as patient and doctor, it would relieve his concerns. I've been to therapy before, you see, so he wouldn't be any wiser as to the real reason behind my visit."

"And what reason would that be?" Esme had piqued my interest.

"I thought it was obvious," she stated, crossing her legs. "I assumed that when you gave me your card, that you wanted to get to know me on a personal level?"

"Oh." It was all I could say. My thoughts weren't entirely in the right place today.

"I'm so stupid," she sighed as she made a move to stand up. "I thought that there was something between us. I'm sorry to have wasted your time."

I watched Esme pick up her coat, ignoring the vibrations coming from my pocket. Whoever was attempting to text me was going to have to wait. I couldn't allow my surprise visitor to leave so upset. There was so much I wanted to know about this woman, despite my compulsive need to fuck Bella. If I had someone else to occupy my heart, I wouldn't be chasing after a twenty two year old who was about to be married. Esme was that person, I could feel it.

"Wait," I said, placing my hand on her shoulder. Her skin felt warm and inviting, just as it had been when I'd touched her hand after our accident. "You're not stupid. I would very much like to get to know you."

It was the absolute truth.

Esme smiled. "Thank goodness for that."

"Maybe we can go to dinner?"

"No!" The words flew from her mouth too quickly. "I can't. It has to be here in your office, or not at all. My son wouldn't understand. I can explain that more in detail if you'd like."

My pocket buzzed again, causing me to jump slightly. Esme took a step back.

"Sorry, it's my phone."

I held up a finger—silently cursing myself for not turning off the blasted thing the moment she entered my office—and glanced at the text message that flashed across the screen.

_I've been thinking about you all day. I can't stop touching myself._

For fuck's sake, how was I ever going to get through this conversation with Esme while Bella was masturbating over text? To say it was a turn on would have been an understatement. I felt warmth spreading across my cheeks, and knew that I was probably blushing from the erotic thought of Bella's fingers teasing her body just for me.

"Are you okay?" Esme asked.

I cleared my throat. "Yes—yes, of course. So if I understand you correctly, you would like to become a patient of mine?"

"Not exactly, it would be more of a front than anything else so my son doesn't find out and attempt to chase you off. I can pay you though, if that's what you're looking for. Of course, I understand if this isn't exactly what you thought you were signing up for when you asked me to call you. You won't hurt my feelings."

There wasn't a single part of me that wanted her to leave. I was just having a seriously hard time concentrating.

"Pay me? Oh, no. If this is the only way I can see you then so be it."

What the _hell_ was I doing? Was I actually standing here making plans with another woman while thinking about my cock buried so deeply inside of Bella that it would make her scream my name for days on end? Maybe _I_ was the one who was in need of therapy.

"So when is good for you? I'm free on Friday this week."

I began to mumble as the text messages continued to pour in. "Friday, yeah."

_I'm so wet for you…_

_Come over tonight…_

_Edward is gone…_

My dick was aching from all the dirty little thoughts running through my mind—Bella naked, her legs spread, fingers sliding up and down her wet slit. I needed to get the fuck out of here.

"Am I keeping you from something?"

Esme's sweet voice brought me back to reality. "I'm sorry. It's a personal matter. I should have turned my phone off, but as I said earlier, I'm usually out of the office by this time."

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to pry." Esme lifted her purse strap over her shoulder. "So, Friday at four then?"

"Friday it is." I couldn't help sneaking another peek at my phone.

_I want you inside of me…_

The moment that Esme disappeared down the hallway, I bolted outside to the Mercedes.

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><p><strong>AN: I decided to update this story again today since it was a short chapter. I will have more to add closer to the weekend. As always, thank you to my lovely beta hmmille!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Youth of the Matter

**Chapter Five—The Youth of the Matter**

I arrived at Bella's apartment building just as the sun slipped below the horizon. Against every urge I had to just rush into her arms, I'd taken the liberty to stop at home first to freshen up. I was a gentleman after all—one who was engaging in sexual affairs with a practically married woman while also trying to win the affections of yet another captivating individual—but a gentleman nonetheless.

Bella buzzed me in, and I climbed swiftly up the three flights of stairs to her apartment. The door was open just a smidge, revealing a darkened, candlelit room beyond the entrance. I pushed it open, kicked off my shoes at the base of a dried out potted plant, and shut the heavy door behind me.

"Bella?"

"In here," she moaned out.

The sound of her breathy voice made me pine for her touch. I knew what she was up to; it was impossible to ignore the little noises that came out of her mouth when she was aroused. Just the mere thought of her pleasure only inches away from me made every fiber in my body burst into life.

I waded through a sea of taped up boxes that were blocking my route to the bedroom. Each one had writing scribbled along the side, indicating which room in the small apartment they belonged to—kitchen, bathroom, living room, bedroom, and storage. I knew from our previous conversations that Bella had only recently moved here, but I wondered for a moment how she could stand living amongst this mess.

Bella worked days at a local sporting goods store down on Lincoln Street, so there had to be plenty of time to clean up when she returned home, especially since Edward worked nights. I hadn't noticed last evening, but there were no traces of any family portraits decorating the walls—apart from one unframed picture of a kitten slung haphazardly above the bathroom sink—nor was there any sign that anyone other than Bella lived here. It was as if Edward didn't even exist. Then again, the failed attempt at unpacking made me stop to contemplate the possibility that perhaps everything remained tucked away in one of the carelessly scattered boxes at my feet.

"What's taking you so long?" Bella groaned. I heard a slight buzzing noise accompanying her words this time which propelled me over a hurdle of boxes marked for the kitchen.

When I stepped inside the bedroom, I was shocked to my core. Lying there, on the bed, Bella was just sliding a vibrator between her thighs like it was an everyday occurrence in her home. And for all I knew, it was. Her legs were spread open—fitting in perfectly with my earlier visions—clearly displaying a freshly waxed bikini line, along with one incredibly swollen clit. I felt a little sliver of drool trickle down my chin, and I wiped it away as I continued to stare at the object of my desire.

"You kept me waiting so I started without you."

"My apologies," I said, sitting down next to her on the bed, running my fingertips across her erect nipples. "I was held up at work."

Her breasts felt so tender against the palms of my hands, and with every tease of my fingers, Bella let out a squeak of excitement.

"You always know just how to touch me," she whispered.

"I've had years of practice…" My voice trailed off as I leaned down and took her right breast in my mouth.

My tongue flicked across her nipple, causing an urgent moan to travel about the room. I was so hard I could barely stand myself. My dick was pressing against the inside of my jeans, pleading with me to release the pressure. _Fuck_, I wanted to, but there was something that I needed more.

Releasing my hold on her enticing mounds and shedding my shirt in less than thirty seconds, I moved down her body until my tongue met with the pulsating gyrations of her electronic toy. Pushing it aside with my hand, I buried my face between her legs. The taste exploded in my mouth like sweet honey on a summer's day. Instantly, I bit down on her clit, rolling it between my teeth as she gripped the bed sheets for support. I slid a finger inside of her, then another while my tongue danced up and down her wet slit. With each pump of my hand, Bella arched her back and groaned out in delight.

"More, I want more!"

I looked up just in time to see Bella pinching her nipples, and that was enough for me to change my plans. "No," I snapped. "I want to watch you."

She sat up slightly, looking down at me as though she hadn't expected me to be so forward. Her features soon changed though, and before I could inch my way off of the bed, Bella was reaching for her vibrator. "As you wish."

"Oh, God," I sighed, pushing off of the comforter and easing myself onto the chair at the foot of the bed.

"Tell me what to do, Doctor Cullen."

"Fuck yourself. I want to see you beg."

I'd never been this dirty before; I couldn't believe that I was sitting here now just watching this striking woman playing with herself all because I'd insisted on it. Bella brought out a side in me that I didn't even know I possessed. I had to admit, I rather liked this devilish creature I'd turned into. She gave me a sense of freedom. I felt alive inside, commanding, and dominant.

"I need you inside of me."

"Harder," I instructed, ignoring her request. Bella did as she was told.

Thrust, after thrust, she plunged the toy deep inside of her, moaning and squirming on the bed with each pass. I couldn't break my intense gaze. I simply allowed my hand to wander south to appease my erection. The fabric of my pants was stretched to its max, and I immediately popped the top button to relieve the discomfort.

"Keep going," I demanded. "Don't stop until you're ready for me."

"But I want it _now_," she cried.

"I love it when you whine," I crooned, slipping my hand into my pants in the same breath.

Grasping my cock, I started stroking myself in long, tantalizing movements, savoring each sensation as I watched Bella fucking herself on the bed. It wouldn't take much for me to come right here, right now, but I had a great deal of pleasure yet to give to my mistress.

"I'm so ready. _Please_." Her words sounded like tiny whimpers, barely audible above the buzzing.

As much as I wanted to prolong the moment, watching her slender body rising and falling while she teased every part of her flesh was driving me insane. I shed the rest of my clothes, grabbed a condom, and replaced the constant vibrations with my thick, aching length.

"Oh, shit!" Bella screamed. "You're so hard!"

"Don't I know it," I chuckled, dipping down to bite at her nipples.

Bella's hips bucked up, meeting my body with a savage thrust. Suddenly, her hands were threading into my hair again and we were fucking with an absolute carnal need for one another.

"Jesus, Bella," I panted, finding it hard to maintain my control.

"Shut up and fuck me," she hissed in return.

I lost track of time as fingers, lips, and legs wrestled for the dominant position. When I finally regained my composure, Bella was resting next to me, curled up into my side with a visible layer of sweat strewn across her skin.

"You're amazing," I whispered, placing a kiss on top of her head.

"You're not too shabby yourself."

"I've never done that with anyone," I admitted. "You know, watched."

"You could have fooled me," she laughed.

"I hope it didn't frighten you."

"Not at all," she answered, tilting her head up to look me in the eyes. "It was kind of refreshing actually. Edward doesn't really like to watch."

I'd forgotten about the fiancée. I was here in Edward's own home, and I'd completely pushed him out of my mind as I fucked his future wife. Was I guilty of some kind of an affair, or was it just a simple matter of fulfilling a need that he could not? I had no idea where this relationship with Bella was headed, but for the meantime I was somewhat content with our secret rendezvous.

"Well, he's missing out."

"Maybe I should put him on a sex ban. It would probably teach him a lesson."

My stomach dropped. I knew that I wasn't the only man that Bella was sleeping with, but hearing her admit that out loud made my insides churn. I felt cheated on, yet_ I_ was actually the other man. If I were to meet Edward in a dark alley, I would probably let him beat me to a pulp. Honestly, I deserved it, but as long as Bella wished to continue seeing me, I wasn't going anywhere. Still, I had a nagging thought in my mind that wouldn't leave me alone.

"Listen," I said, rolling over so I could speak to her face to face. "Where is this going between us?"

All the color drained from her cheeks. "Do we have to talk about that? Can't we just enjoy what we have at the moment?"

Something in her voice made me think that she had no intention of leaving Edward for me. I wasn't sure that was what I wanted anyway. I'd already decided that I was perfectly all right with how things were now, but it didn't hurt to hear it from Bella as well.

"Yes—yes, you're right. I will always be here for you if you need me."

Bella snuggled back into my side, and I pulled the covers over us. It felt nice to be needed for a change, and not in an advisory capacity. I truly believed that I was helping Bella with her intimacy issues, and it didn't matter to me that I was probably being used. Perhaps I needed the attention just as much as she did.

"Edward has the next two evenings off, but I was wondering if you'd like to come over on Friday, or maybe I could go to your place?"

As much as I craved her touch, I couldn't see Bella on Friday. I had promised a date to Esme, and although I knew that I shouldn't be getting involved with another woman at the present time, I was actually looking forward to seeing Miss Evenson again. She made me smile like no other.

"I'd like that, but I have a prior engagement on Friday."

"Got another hot date?"

_Does she have ESP as well as a tight, hot body?_

"I just have some late appointments at the office."

"What about after that? You can't possibly be working all night." Bella slid her hands over my groin, causing a deep moan to travel up my throat.

"I—I can probably swing that."

"Good, because two days without this…" She paused and squeezed my cock before carrying on. "Is two days too long."

"I couldn't agree more."

I waited for Bella to fall asleep before heading back home to my empty apartment. The next two days were going to be torture without her.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for the reviews and comments! If you haven't guessed already, Carlisle is heading into some tricky territory with that saucy little Bella, and this is only the start to his troubles! The next chapter will be uploaded near the end of the week, and thank you again to my incredible beta hmmille who always makes me laugh with her commentary! **


	6. Chapter 6: Second Thoughts

**Chapter Six—Second Thoughts**

Friday rolled around at an agonizingly slow pace. I'd done everything that I could possibly think of to keep myself away from Bella's apartment—working overtime, taking on new clients, even going as far as to intentionally lock my keys in the car. Though the extreme measures had kept me from physically acting on my desire to return to her bed, they couldn't prevent the continual stream of images that flickered through my mind.

I'd been sitting here in my office for the past ten minutes, absentmindedly linking paperclips together while I stared at the flashing red light on my answering machine. I was hesitant to listen to the message because I didn't want to get my hopes up just to have them crushed when the caller turned out to be old Mrs. Higgins complaining about her daughter's lack of emails again. Bella hadn't contacted me since the morning after I'd left her apartment, and I couldn't help but feel a little slighted. I shouldn't of had feelings towards her one way or the other because she was in love with Edward, and I didn't want to come between them. But there was a pang of jealousy brewing inside of me as I thought about Bella's legs wrapped around another man. That would all change tonight. After my shift, we would once again be in each other's arms.

With a sigh, I reluctantly pressed the button on the machine to retrieve my messages.

"Hello, Doctor Cullen, this is Edward Platt calling." My heart stopped. I fumbled around on my desk, accidentally knocking over my coffee cup and tangling the paperclips around the telephone cord. Losing my grip, I fell out of my chair, landing with a thud on the ground. Edward's voice seemed to echo around the room as if he was standing only inches away from me. The terror that filled my chest was all consuming. "I was hoping that I could talk to you about my mother. I will be gone until tomorrow morning, but will be easily reachable any time after ten."

The call ended with Edward leaving his number, along with a guttural sounding goodbye, almost like he was having difficulty speaking the words. I just sat there, staring at the answering machine like I'd just been given some devastating news. I was in complete shock, and the only thing that I could think of to do was to void the entire contents of my lunch into the garbage can. However, the absolute fear that had penetrated my body was keeping me from even getting off of the floor, and only a few dry heaves escaped me. Was this just a rouse? Did Edward know that I had been in his home, messing around with Bella? Had she told him?

I saw no other reason for his call. First of all, I had never even spoken to Edward in almost a year of treating Bella, so I had no idea why he would suddenly be calling me now, unless it was to schedule a fight behind the building like some sort of macho schoolboy showdown. Secondly, I didn't know what the _fuck_ he was talking about. Why would I have anything to do with his _mother_? If Edward had issues pertaining to his mother then he needed to become a patient, and preferably not one of mine. I hoped to God that Bella hadn't suggested the idea to him. There was no way that I could treat them both with everything that was going on at the moment. I was already in danger of losing my license if the truth came out about what I'd been up to with my clients.

A knock at the door broke my concentration, and I nearly jumped right out of my skin. I felt a slight wave of nausea wash over me as I scrambled to my feet and unwrapped the two foot chain of paperclips from around the phone, setting the metal on my desk. It had to be my next appointment—Esme Evenson. Technically, she wasn't an appointment, but I was hardly in the frame of mind for a social call after spending the past two days wallowing in my own misery, followed by Edward's absurd message. Still, I had high hopes that Esme would take my mind off of things, even if it was only for a short while. The message would still be there—just blinking at me like some sort of red alarm—when I was alone again. Whether or not I called him back was another matter.

"Good to see you again, Esme," I said, ushering her into the room and closing the door behind us with a sluggish crack. I felt really off kilter. Even as I took a seat across from her with my notebook, my attention remained elsewhere.

"Is this the point where I'm meant to spill my entire life story to you?" she asked.

"I thought this was all a disguise," I chuckled halfheartedly.

She motioned to the chair that I was sitting in. "You just seem prepared to take my statement or something."

"My apologies," I said, sliding my notebook off my lap. "It's just a habit of mine."

"And the paperclips?"

I glanced over to my desk, embarrassed. I couldn't exactly tell her that I'd created the chain purely for something to do with my hands because otherwise they would have traveled elsewhere. I'd been practically celibate for the past three years, and yet here I was unable to stop touching myself in Bella's absence. I also couldn't explain that the knocked over coffee cup had been because of my lover's fiancée calling me out of the blue, not when I was in the middle of trying to woo the woman who was patiently waiting for an answer. I was seriously starting to think that there was something wrong with me.

"I was bored," I lied. "You were a little late."

Esme laughed. "By like three minutes. I hardly think that can be considered late."

Her laughter swirled around me, lightening the atmosphere in the room. Once again, the smile that lit up her face seemed to reach the very far corners of her eyes. There was something so fragile and compelling about the way her hair fell around her face, that I found myself slowly starting to feel more at ease with the conversation. Bella was still on my mind—not to mention the phone message—but Esme had a way of calming my deepest insecurities. Talking to Esme was as easy as breathing.

"I'm a stickler about time."

"What else are you so strict about?" she inquired.

"Well, for starters, my coffee." I leaned forward with a grin. "It's my morning ritual."

"I'm more of a tea drinker myself. What other secrets are you hiding under that chiseled physique? Don't tell me that you're a bagel and cream cheese lover like me."

Esme thought I had a chiseled physique? I was rather flattered that she'd given me a look at all. Maybe things were starting to turn around for me—first Bella, and now Esme. I'd gone so long without even a glance in my direction, and now two women within the space of a month had found me attractive. Was it possible that Bella was just an appetizer, and Esme was the main course? I had something special with Bella that I didn't want to ruin, but I had to admit, Esme had a timeless wisdom in her eyes that was absent from her younger counterpart. I wanted to get to know her better, despite my ongoing relationship with Miss Swan. That was one secret that needed to stay locked up.

If things didn't work out with Bella—and I suspected that they wouldn't—I didn't want to be alone again. I was too old to keep starting over. Esme was my best shot at a stable romance.

"I prefer waffles," I whispered.

"I'll keep that in mind for next time."

"They do say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," I smirked.

"Well_ they_ sound very smart," she answered, rolling her eyes. "I don't mean to be so forward, but I don't see a ring on your finger and we wouldn't be having this conversation if you were still married. So has there ever been a _Mrs_. Cullen?"

The dreaded relationship question. I should have expected it, but in all honestly, this was completely new territory for me. Bella never really asked about my personal life; most of our talks were silenced with a moan. I suddenly realized that I knew quite a bit about the future Mrs. Platt, and she hadn't cared to ask me one thing about my life. Yet here was Esme, two minutes into the longest conversation we'd ever had, asking me about marriage.

"Uh, no," I mumbled. "I've never been married."

"Ever come close?"

"Not even in the vicinity," I answered awkwardly. I wasn't used to someone asking me so many questions about myself. It was usually the other way around. "But you—you said you've been married before. How long have you been divorced?"

"Nine years, but it never goes away." A sad look rippled across her face that made me want to reach out and soothe away her worry. "Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the idea of marriage if it's with the right person. My husband and I didn't get along, and it had an adverse effect on my son. He's so overly protective now."

"How old is he?"

"He just turned twenty four."

I found it hard to believe that this enchanting woman had a fully grown son. She seemed rather young to my eyes. "Impossible. You're not a day over twenty four yourself."

"I'm forty three," she laughed. "But that's sweet of you to say."

So she was older than I was, but not by much.

"Divorce can be hard on children, especially if there is abusive involved," I added. "Is that why you were going to therapy before?"

Esme nodded. "We worked through it together, but he still won't leave me be. I've had a total of three relationships in nine years because Edward feels the need to chase everyone off. He doesn't want a repeat of what happened with Charles."

I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was gasping for air, but my mouth was completely sealed shut. Blood rushed from my face, leaving me cold and empty inside. I knew that I must look as pale as a vampire by now, but I couldn't find the strength to speak. It wasn't possible, was it? Could Edward Platt be Esme's son?

"Wait, your son's name is Edward?" I finally choked out. It could be just a coincidence, but it felt like a five alarm fire was sweeping through my chest. Whether it was a simple matter of guilt, or perhaps a sense of foreboding, the name Edward sent off all the hairs on the back of my neck prickling with an uneasy sensation.

"Yes. I know it's not a name you hear every day, but I've always been fond of it."

"Well, we're no strangers to unusual names, are we?" I tried to make a joke of it, but inside I was screaming as if I was being buried alive.

Esme burst out laughing, tossing her head back as the entire room became filled with the melodic sound of her voice. "No, we're not. He was named after my grandfather."

"So, is Evenson a family name then?" I had to know for sure.

"No, it's my married name. I kept it for professional reasons."

_This cannot be happening to me._

I did my best to remain calm on the outside. There was no helping the extreme panic flooding my chest now. "Have you ever thought about going back to your maiden name?"

"Edward did. He wants nothing to do with Charles. I've thought about it, but it would just be too much of a hassle at work, not to mention the fees associated with actually changing a name."

Oh, God. I had to break this off. I could not be in a relationship with two women connected to Edward. Out of all the girls in the world, why the _hell_ did I have to be attracted to Edward's _mother_ and _fiancée_? Was this some kind of a cruel joke?

"Are you okay?" Esme asked, kneeling down in front of me. I hadn't even noticed her move. "You look like you're going to be sick."

It felt that way, but I wasn't about to lose my guts in front of Esme. For once, I was grateful that the outright horror racking my nerves was subduing the bile in my stomach from making its entrance.

"I—I need a drink of water."

She nodded and immediately raced to the small fridge behind my desk, returning to my side before I could even attempt to take my next breath. I was holding it all in. I didn't want to breathe. I just needed this entire situation to go away. The pressure in my head suddenly burst into a frantic thumping, making me dizzy with every caress of Esme's fingertips across my upper back.

"Drink slowly," she directed, handing me the water bottle. I couldn't force the water down my throat and coughed it back up all over my shirt. "I'm no Doctor, but I think you're having a panic attack."

"I'm, sorry," I gasped, spilling more water down my shirt.

I was fully prepared to dump Esme, but as she led me over to the white couch and held me in her arms, my mind became a jumbled mess of confusion.

"Carlisle, relax," she whispered, stroking my hair. It felt so nice to have her easing my worry, even if she didn't understand the cause. "I'm here to help you through this."

We barely knew each other, but as she began to hum a soft melody in my ear, it felt as though we'd known one another our entire lives. She was entirely captivating every part of me, and I could suddenly breathe again. Nothing was right about this situation, but the fact that she was here with me—willing to soothe a practical stranger—made me long to keep her by my side.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I inquired, needing to know how this amazing creature could possibly be so tender towards another individual.

"I like you, and I don't know how to do CPR," she joked.

I had to laugh. It didn't sound completely natural to my ears, but Esme wouldn't recognize the hesitation. "You're amazing, you know that?"

"And _you're_ delirious."

Our banter continued on well past six in the evening. I'd actually lost track of the time until Marge interrupted and explained she was leaving for the night. Esme just had a way of holding my attention, despite my earlier, well deserved panic attack. As it turned out, she worked for an architecture firm on the east side, and was about to become a partner. She lived only a few blocks away from my building in a townhouse that she had built herself two years ago. Her parents held residence in Ohio, and she moved out to Seattle to escape her previous marriage, making stops in Milwaukee, and Ashland, Wisconsin along the way. Despite her earlier marital troubles, she remained in high spirits. There was a glow about this woman that I was drawn to. I could see it in every smile, every playful swipe of my hand, and every single word that poured from her lips. I didn't want to lose her. There was so much more that I wanted to know.

I'd been so entranced by Esme's charm that I'd forgotten all about Bella—and also the fact that Esme was Edward's mother—until I pulled up at my apartment building, and turned on my phone. There were three messages: _Edward is gone. I want to see you. Call me._

Even though I had a strange urge to decline her requests for an audience, I decided to invite Bella over to my place. I wanted to be comforted the only way that I knew how—legs entwined, lips locked, and juices flowing. I needed to lose myself, and only Bella could help me there. Esme was too kindhearted to cater to my body the way I was desperately in search of. However, the thought of being in Bella's bed after she had just spent two days with her fiancée—not to mention the connection with Esme—unnerved me. I'd devoted so much of my time wishing that I was with Bella over the past forty eight hours. Now that our time had arrived, I wasn't sure that this was what I really wanted anymore.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you again to my terrific beta hmmille. Next update will either be over the weekend or early part of next week. Thank you for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7: Going to Hell

**Chapter Seven—Going to Hell**

"Don't you have any eggs?"

Bella was sitting on my black, leather couch, wrapped up in a blanket with her knees tucked just under her chin. Her dark hair was tangled in little knots on the right side of her face from where she'd fallen asleep after three hours of making love—if you could call it that. I'd been off of my game, and with good reason. Instead of the dominating presence she'd come to expect in the bedroom, I'd simply taken a backseat and let her do all the driving.

I could remember hovering over her, my cock slamming into her repeatedly as she gripped the couch cushions and made those little noises that used to drive me wild. But there was no excitement in it for me. It had felt just as incredible as always, yet there was no emotion behind the act. Bella hadn't even noticed, and that was when I started to realize that perhaps I was just a mere booty call for her. Not that I minded really—she gave me the most immense type of pleasure—but there was something lacking in our forbidden relationship. Although I couldn't put my finger on it, I knew that it wasn't just Edward Platt that was bothering me.

"Sorry, just waffles," I answered, slipping the frozen pastries into the toaster oven.

Bella pouted. "We should go shopping today."

"What about Edward?" I couldn't believe that I'd just spoken his name out loud.

"He doesn't get home until at least ten, and then he goes right to sleep. You know that."

And I did know that; Edward had told me himself yesterday. _Fuck_, what was I going to do? Bella was like a drug that I couldn't quit, and Esme was the counselor that picked up all the broken pieces. I needed both of them. They were so unique in their ways—entirely different, yet they each had a habit of bringing something inside of me to life. How could I quit something that made me feel so good?

I kept my back to her as I gathered some whipped cream from the fridge, and a fresh batch of strawberries. I wanted to see how far I could push Bella without revealing that I knew her future mother-in-law. I couldn't betray Esme's confidence like that, but I needed more information. "Isn't he going to wonder why you're not at home?"

"I'll just tell him I went out for breakfast with Jessica."

"Who's Jessica?" Part of me had hoped she'd mention Esme.

Bella snorted before answering me. "My maid of honor. We've been friends since high school, but she's always after Edward. He hates her, so he won't ask any questions."

"I guess that will work."

The timer dinged on the oven, and I carried on preparing our small breakfast. I hadn't cooked for another person in years, and although frozen waffles weren't exactly extravagant, it was nice to feel needed by someone else. The only problem was that it felt like the wrong person was sitting on my couch naked under that blanket.

My thoughts drifted to Esme again, and the morning she might be having by herself. I knew that she lived alone, so I could only imagine her at an empty kitchen table with her morning cup of tea and a bagel with cream cheese. If we were together, I would have insisted on breakfast in bed, and there _would_ have been eggs if she had really wanted them.

"What are you so happy about?" Bella asked. I hadn't realized I was smiling.

"I like cooking for you," I lied. _ I'm thinking about dumping you for another woman who's also your fiancée's mother _seemed like a pretty harsh thing to say to her, but I had no doubt that Bella was two steps away from getting rid of me herself. She was about to be married, so this had to end sooner or later, didn't it? Maybe I _could_ get away with dating Esme as well. It wasn't like Bella expected me to be celibate if our fling ended. I could easily pop up one day at a family dinner with Esme at my side, couldn't I?

"Well, I have an idea," Bella said with a sly grin. "How about we forgo breakfast this morning? I'm feeling dirty, and I need a shower."

"But I just made this for you."

She stood up and dropped the blanket, revealing her tempting, naked body. The early morning light that was creeping its way through the open blinds danced across her alabaster skin, causing me to accidentally squeeze out the entire contents of the whipped cream can.

Bella giggled. "Doctor Cullen, come shower with me."

How in the world was I ever going to separate these two women? Esme was an ivory Goddess in her own right, but as Bella ran a finger along her tight slit, I couldn't imagine being back in that kitchen anymore. I was so torn between what I wanted, and what I had right in front of me, that I instinctively lowered my hand to rub the aching bulge in my pants. There was no doubting the fact that Bella was entirely too appealing, and despite my earlier hesitation and lack of enthusiasm, I felt everything coming back to me like the first time we had fucked in my office. All thoughts of Edward and Esme disappeared as if they'd never been there in the first place. I was a sex junkie who couldn't break his addiction.

"Lead on," I chuckled, following Bella into the bathroom.

The warm water cascaded down around us as I leaned back against the shower wall and weaved my fingers through Bella's hair. She was down on her knees, sucking my cock in long, deep strokes. I couldn't contain myself; there was nothing better in this world to me than a good blow job.

"You keep that up, and I'm not going to last very long," I mumbled.

She didn't really answer. Only the vibrations of her voice running along my shaft could be heard over the shower head. The pure thrill of her tongue tracing circles around my tip forced me to yank her hair, and thrust myself to the back of her throat.

"Take it all, Bella."

A pair of hands slithered up the inside of my thighs as she drew me in and out of her mouth, finally meeting their mark, and caressing my balls with an eager finesse. Bella pushed me up against the wall, just using her mouth to get the job done, and I quickly released with a victorious groan of pleasure, unable to stop myself. "Oh, Fuck! Yes, _God_, yes!"

"Wash me," she commanded before licking my cock clean and standing up.

"Turn around."

I grabbed a wash cloth, and instantly set about massaging her shoulders with a lather of soap. My hands moved down the front of her chest, lingering over her aroused nipples, pinching them softly as she leaned back against me. Her ass bumped into my shaft, and I rubbed it against her to amplify the sensation.

"You're still so hard," she moaned out. "So hard for me."

"I want you," I whispered in her ear. Whatever had been wrong with me last night was completely absent from this scene. The compulsive need to fuck her drowned out the screams of protest clambering inside of my head. I knew it was wrong, and I didn't care.

"Take me, Doctor Cullen. I am yours to play with."

I slid my hands down her body, abandoning the wash cloth all together, and parted her folds with two fingers. Her clit was completely throbbing under my touch as I began to rub in slow circles. I needed to be inside of her, and thankfully for me, Bella was prepared. She reached forward to grab a condom from the basket hanging against the tile wall, ripped the package open, and did all the work for me.

"Something tells me that you had this all planned," I purred, nipping playfully at her neck.

"You could say that."

As she spoke the words, I took her from behind, gliding my cock deep inside, and pressing her breasts against the glass shower door. I already wanted to come again. I'd been foolish to think that I could give this up. I was past the point of no return, and I now had a front row seat in Hell reserved just for me.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks once again to my amazing beta hmmille. And thank you to all of you who are reading and reviewing! Next chapter update will be at the end of the week!**


	8. Chapter 8: A Different Kind of Love

**Chapter Eight—A Different Kind of Love**

The rain pounded against my office window as Esme carried on telling me about her life with Charles. I couldn't believe that three months had passed since she first appeared in my life. We seemed like the best of friends, but had yet to take things to the next level. Like an addiction, I'd been unable to give up either of my girls. I was finding it easier to balance things though, and had even managed to return Edward's phone call a few days after discovering that he was Esme's son. Luckily for me, Edward didn't answer. He never called again, so I figured the message that I'd left had been sufficient. Part of me thought that he'd just phoned to confirm that his mother was actually seeing a therapist, and she was not off on some romantic date with a man that he didn't approve of. After telling Esme of the call, she agreed. I'd kept the part about knowing Edward through Bella to myself. I was scared to tell Esme the truth. If I did, she'd walk out of my life forever, and that was something I just couldn't handle.

I wasn't sure whether it was just because we were both a little timid with each other, or just the simple fact that I was hung up on Bella and Edward that caused our distance. I only knew that the days in which I got to see Esme were vastly becoming the best moments of life. She'd accomplished so much in her forty three years, even with the trials and tribulations of her marriage. How anyone could be as cruel to her as Charles had been was beyond me. If it wasn't for my generally placid nature, I would surely hunt the man down.

"And so that's all there is really. I haven't seen him much since the divorce, and Edward wants nothing to do with him, although it doesn't stop Charles from trying. He was about fifteen years old when I left his father, and I only stayed with Charles for Edward's sake. I thought he needed a father in his life, regardless of what I suffered in return. In the end, I just had to do what was best for my son. He wasn't happy, and it wasn't a stable enough environment to raise a child in."

"Well that explains his need to protect you," I sighed. I could sympathize with Edward; he was justified in looking out for her after all they'd been through.

"Is it wrong of me to wish that he'd move away? I love Edward, but I need my freedom."

I laughed. "I don't think it's wrong of you in the slightest, but I'm positive that he's not looking over your shoulder every five minutes just to ruin your happiness. He's concerned about you."

"Oh, I know," she replied. "Hopefully he won't be around so much in the coming months though. I'd really like to have you over."

"Well, he doesn't live with you, right? Just lock the front door, or come over to my place."

Her face crumpled slightly, and I could tell that she was processing my words for the tenth time since we'd been discussing the issue. I'd mentioned the arrangement several times over the past few weeks, but she'd always turned me down, afraid that Edward would find out somehow and chase me off. I'd assured her that there was no force on this earth strong enough to remove me from her life—and in truth there was no place that I would rather be—yet she still denied me time with her away from the office.

"You know what? You're right," she said, surprising me. "I don't know why I allow him to run my life, and it's about time I took control back. Would you like to come over for Thanksgiving? I don't care what he thinks anymore."

"Wouldn't you like to start off with something small, like dinner at my place?" I answered nervously. The thought of having dinner with Edward was unnerving at best. What if Bella was there? Esme had never mentioned her to me, but then again, I'd left out quite a bit of my nocturnal activities as well. Maybe there was a secret that she didn't want me to know about?

However, I immediately regretted my words. I didn't want to make it seem as though I was turning her down. The look on her face suggested that she felt exactly what I feared.

"Or if Thanksgiving is what you are offering, I'll take it," I added, hoping that I hadn't lost my window of opportunity.

"How about dinner tonight?" she asked, astounding me once again.

I leaned over and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as I whispered close to her ear. "Why Miss Evenson, are you asking me out on a date?"

She blushed. "Don't make me change my mind, Doctor Cullen."

Holy shit, she'd never used that name before. I was suddenly reminded of my ongoing relationship with Bella. We'd continued to see one another every Sunday and Thursday evening, not to mention our weekly sessions that were now nothing more than a fuck fest. When Bella called me by that name, I felt powerful and strong, but hearing Esme say it caused a stirring in the pit of my stomach, like the words were only meant to be heard from Esme's mouth. I couldn't deny that it felt incredibly arousing to me, and I let my hand fall to her thigh, expecting her to move. But she didn't. Instead she covered my hand with her own, and mimicked the squeeze that I'd given her earlier.

"How about I meet you at my place in an hour?" The adrenaline that filled my body was overpowering me. I couldn't believe that this was about to happen.

"See you then."

I hurried home from work, grabbing some Chinese takeout along the way. With Bella practically eating me out of house and home, there was nothing consumable left in the fridge. I'd barely had time to pick up the loose articles of clothing from the floor before Esme was hitting the buzzer downstairs.

"Come on up," I eagerly said into the intercom.

She was on my doorstep in less than three minutes, dressed in a short, red skirt with a matching button up blouse. Her hair fell in little waves around her face which made me want to run my fingers through the soft curls. She looked radiant.

"I hope you like takeout," I chuckled, switching off my phone. I wanted no interruptions tonight. "I wasn't prepared for you to say yes."

"Lucky for you, I happen to love Chinese." She took a deep breath as she walked into the kitchen with a bottle of wine grasped securely in her left hand.

We took a seat at the table with our wine and Lo Mein noodles. She seemed to be eyeing up my apartment while taking tiny mouthfuls of her dinner. I used the moment to assess her eating habits since this was a new occurrence for us. I wanted to retain any and all information that I possibly could about this fascinating woman. She was very well versed in dinner etiquette, enhancing the ideas already formulated in my mind about her upper class stature. There must have been some formal coaching during her upbringing. She was a complete lady in all respects of the word, and completely different than Bella's obnoxious need for junk food at every meal. Although I enjoyed my fair share of snacks, I couldn't hold a candle to Bella.

"This is very good," she mumbled, wiping her mouth with a paper towel. I would have to invest in cloth napkins if this was going to become a constant thing for us like I hoped. I couldn't have Esme living in less than ideal surroundings. I wanted her to have the best that I could offer.

"I used to live off of this stuff when I was school."

"Better than McDonalds, I suppose." She flashed me a wink.

After dinner, we settled on the couch, and I tried not to think about the last woman who had sat in this very spot. I knew that the moment Esme left my apartment, I would once again be answering Bella's constant influx of dirty text messages, but for right now, I was content to be sitting beside Esme.

"So this is what a single doctor does on a Friday night," she murmured, resting her head on my shoulder.

I placed my arm around Esme, and pulled her a little bit closer. "Yes, but I don't usually have a beautiful woman sitting next to me."

"You think I'm beautiful?"

She asked the question as if she'd never even looked at herself in the mirror. I couldn't believe that this astonishing woman thought that she was anything less than perfect.

"Is there any question?"

"I'm sorry—it's just that no one has called me anything other than Esme or Mom in a very long time."

"Well, let me remedy that," I said gently, cupping her face and tilting her head up so that I could look her in the eyes. "I think that you are the most extraordinary woman that I have met, and I feel honored just to know you."

As our eyes locked, I saw everything that I had ever wanted in a woman flicker across the two deep pools of green staring back at me. This was the face of the person that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with—the face of my soul mate. I could feel the truth of that notion planted firmly in my chest as if that single thought alone was fueling the rapid thumping of my heart.

"Kiss me," she whispered back.

I closed the distance between us—hesitating only for a moment as I thought about the proper way to go about things—and answered her with a tender kiss. She had such soft lips—such incredible velvet lips, tasting of cinnamon spice—that I was immediately taken with this beauty. There was nothing dirty or inappropriate in my movements. I wanted this moment to remain untainted by my recent habits, and to treat Esme with the respect she deserved.

Her lips felt like satin against my own, perfectly sculpted for just this occasion. She moved against me with a fragile grace, something that implied her deep-seated need for me mixed with the horrible circumstances of her past. I could tell as she slowly parted my lips with her tongue, that she was being just as cautious as I was. Esme was afraid of being hurt, and I found myself wanting nothing more than to protect her delicate heart.

"Stay with me tonight," I mumbled in between long, drawn out kisses.

Esme leaned forward, capturing my lips once again. I took that as a sign of her agreement, and carefully hoisted her from the couch without breaking our kiss. A minute later, I placed her gently onto my bed, dimmed the lights, and slipped under the covers with the woman I was falling in love with.

"Can we just hold each other?" she asked, scooting across the mattress towards me.

"We can do anything your heart desires, angel."

I wrapped my arms around her, and blocked out everything else in my life except for Esme.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks to hmmille for being so terrific as my beta. Bella and Carlisle will be having a little discussion coming up, as well as some intense altercations between Edward, Bella, Carlisle, and Esme. Someone is not telling the complete truth, but who is it? :p Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9: Decisions

**Chapter Nine—Decisions**

Edward was staring at me with a look of contempt. His eyes were narrowed into thin slits, almost as if the mere thought of just being here was repugnant to him. All my worst fears were coming true, and no matter how hard I tried, I could not bring myself to say the first word. It felt like my chest was about to explode into a thousand irretrievable pieces. He unknowingly had every reason to beat me into a pile of mush.

"Thank you for seeing me," he grumbled under his breath as he began to pace my office. All I could do was stand rigid—just waiting for the first punch to be thrown—with my hands gripping my desk, paralyzed by fear. "I wanted to chat with you about how things are progressing with her therapy."

I cleared my throat. This was not what I had been expecting, and I couldn't answer his question anyway. "I'm sorry, Edward, but that information is protected under Doctor-Patient Confidentiality. I'm sure you understand."

"It's no secret that I dislike doctors, but I was hoping that you could see past all these rules and tell me how my mother is doing. She's been acting very odd lately."

"Your mother?" The words flew out of my mouth with a gasp of confusion. Hadn't he come here to reshape my face for all the dirty little things I'd been doing to his fiancée? I'd barely touched his mother.

"Esme Evenson—you're her therapist, are you not?"

I could feel my hands shaking, and I could taste the bile coating my throat. It was taking everything that I had not to vomit right here in front of Edward. One of these times it was bound to happen, regardless of how strong of a stomach I had.

"Yes," I choked out.

"Are you okay, Doctor Cullen?

_Don't call me by that name_, I silently screamed. I never wanted to hear that name again.

"Yes—yes, I'm fine," I lied. I was far from fine. Terror was the only emotion coursing through my body.

"So, my mother is doing all right?" he carried on, oblivious to the agony gnawing away at me. "I mean, I know you can't tell me the details, but can you at least ease my mind?"

What was I going to say to him? I couldn't breach Esme's confidence, nor could I tell him that her odd behavior was because she was dating me in secret. It felt wrong to be talking to Edward in this capacity. I couldn't even look him in the eye, not with the knowledge that this was person standing between myself and the women in my life.

A sudden fit of panic began to consume me, and everything went fuzzy. All the lights in my office went out one by one until only the whites of Edward's eyes remained. He stepped forward, but as he spoke, I heard nothing but the voice of Joel Cox—Channel Five's anchorman.

I awoke to the sound of a traffic report blaring through my bedroom. It had only been a dream. With a sluggish groan, I reached over and hit the snooze button on the alarm clock; I had no interest in the weekend congestion on the 101. It was only seven, and although I needed to go into the office this morning, I couldn't bring myself to get up just yet; the nightmare of Edward standing in my office was still fresh in my mind. Instead, I sprawled out across my California king bed, searching for the warm body that I'd slept next to all night.

I found nothing. Esme was gone.

My heart fluttered for a moment as the realization that I was now alone started to sink in. I sat up, tugging the covers around my body for some sense of comfort, and rubbed my nose against the silky fabric. The smell of Esme's perfume—the same scent of cinnamon that had accompanied her kiss—still lingered on the sheets. There was a sense of sadness pounding throughout my chest. I'd never just spent the night entangled in a woman's embrace, leaving things purely romantic and not sexual in any way. It was actually quite refreshing. Esme possessed a certain warmth about her that I'd never experienced before. I'd felt it all night long as she lay cuddled up on my chest. Just watching her sleep had been amazing in its own right. She was beautiful when she slept, and I'd spent half the night wondering if she was dreaming of me. Now that she had vanished, I felt empty inside.

The thought of calling her crossed my mind as I stumbled out of bed in search of my slippers, but the moment my feet touched the floor, something caught my eye. There, on the nightstand, was a note scribbled in red pen.

_I didn't want to wake you. Edward is coming over for breakfast this morning, and I needed to be home before he arrived. Last night was incredible, and I hope that we can see each other again before Friday. Please think about Thanksgiving. Esme xoxo_

My eyes traveled over the note several times before I finally folded it up and placed it inside the drawer next to the bed.

"I wish you had stayed," I whispered to no one in particular.

I understood her need for privacy, but I was really starting to think that Edward was going to come between us. How was I ever going to get past the fact that he was a dominant factor in both of my current relationships? My dream hadn't been for nothing; it was my subconscious trying to tell me that I was in the middle of a very dangerous situation.

I felt sick to my stomach as I stepped into the shower, praying that the warm water would wash away my awful thoughts. I didn't want it to be true. I was involved with two women—which I knew was completely wrong of me to begin with—but the fact that they were soon to be related through marriage sent shivers down my spine.

"You have got to end this."

I sighed into the falling bands of water, and placed my hands on the tile wall, just bracing myself for what I knew was about to happen. It was immoral of me to continue seeing both women, especially since they were from the same family. The only problem was, I didn't know which one to end it with.

On one hand, there was Bella—sexy, vibrant, dirty, and taken. On the other hand, sat Esme—also sexy in a more refined sense of the word, and completely enthralling on every level. And I was addicted to both of them.

When I was with Esme the entire world just faded away, leaving only the moment being shared between us. With Bella, I felt alive inside, and had discovered a deeper part of myself that I never knew existed. I'd tried to give her up before, but always found myself running back into her arms. It was wrong of me to crave her touch when she was engaged to be married, yet there was something about her that had me crawling back for more every single time.

Maybe it was just the fact that our relationship was shrouded in secrecy, but wasn't it the same with Esme? Perhaps it was the thrill of potentially getting caught that had me whining like a fool and touching myself every moment that we were apart from each other.

I wanted things to progress with Esme. It had taken three months for us to even kiss, and I respected her need to take things slow. However, I felt as though I was cheating on them both, and it needed to stop. Addicted, or not, I was going to end up hurting them both if I didn't do something.

Switching the water off and grabbing a towel from the counter, I searched for an answer to my dilemma. For the time being, I had to think of what was best for them, and put my own selfishness aside. I wasn't sure that I could do it, but I had to try.

As I slipped on my jeans and black polo sweater, a sudden thought occurred to me. If these two captivating women were from the same family and I continued seeing one of them, there would be no chance of ever being able to sustain a successful relationship. I could just see the family dinners now. There would always be some type of an argument, or at the very least a death threat from Edward. I'd been sleeping with his fiancée for months and hoped to romance his mother, if she ever opened up to the idea. How would that affect him? Would a long lasting relationship even be possible with the mess I'd gotten myself into?

And that was only the problem if I picked Esme.

If I chose Bella, would she ever leave Edward for me? I doubted it, but I also didn't want to alienate her from my life either. I needed her touch so badly. Could I attempt to continue seeing both? Did I have it in me to confess what I'd been up to? Would I be forgiven?

So many things were swirling in my mind that I couldn't separate them. I needed a distraction; I needed some fresh air to clear my head. Grabbing my phone and keys off of the dresser, I headed down the parking garage.

"Crap," I grumbled as I looked down to my cell. I'd completely forgotten that I'd switched it off last night when Esme came over.

With a slight reluctance, I powered up the phone, bracing myself once again for any incoming messages. I knew that they would be there, and sure enough, seventeen text messages and three voicemails flashed across the screen in a never ending wave of anger.

_I've called you twice, where are you?_

_I want you, Carlisle…please come over._

_Are you ignoring me?_

_I'm naked, wet, and so ready for you…_

_What the fuck! Why aren't you texting me back!_

_Fine, ignore me, you jackass!_

_I'm sorry about my last text. Call me. I miss you._

Message, after message poured in—some angry, some playful, but all of them were from Bella. Her voicemails were harsh at best, and I knew that I needed to somehow make it up to her, regardless of my new plan. Balancing these two women was going to be the death of me, if an ulcer didn't claim me first.

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><p><strong>AN: We're about half way through the story and I would like to thank everyone for reading and reviewing! I wouldn't have been able to write it at all had it not been for my beta hmmille, so thank you darlin'! Poor Carlisle has gotten himself into a big mess, and now he has to dig himself out ;)**


	10. Chapter 10: Apologies

**Chapter Ten—Apologies**

"You promise you'll answer next time?" Bella panted, collapsing onto the bed under my weight.

With a jolting thrust, I bucked my hips flush against hers, and then came with a cry of absolute pleasure. "Yes. _Fuck_, yes I will."

"Good boy," she giggled.

I hadn't been able to stop touching her since she'd answered her door wearing nothing but a skimpy negligee. My thoughts had been purely innocent up until that point. I'd intended to tell her the truth—that I was falling in love with another woman as well as her—but the minute she bared her irresistible breasts to me, I'd lost my concentration.

I didn't know what it was about Bella that had me chasing after her like a puppy dog. I felt pathetic, like some kind of subservient asshole that was unable to control his lust. Didn't I have morals anymore? Had I really become that dependent on Bella that I couldn't give her up for Esme? And more importantly, was Bella the one that I was meant to end up with?

"I missed you," she whispered in my ear as her hand reached down to cup my ass. "Don't leave me hanging again. I won't be as receptive to your charms next time."

I smoothed back her hair, placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, and gave her a quick nudge with my cock. She groaned, closing her eyes as she savored the feeling of my length inside of her. "It won't happen again."

"You've made me all sticky. Now I have to take a shower," she purred. "Care to take one with me? You're so good at getting me wet."

I wanted to say yes except the words just wouldn't leave my mouth. She was impossible to deny, but the nagging feeling that I was just making the situation worse was stronger than the desire to taste her again. Now that the joy of my orgasm had receded, I could think clearly again. I wasn't sure that I was ready to sever our contact, but I just had to know what she wanted out of our relationship in order to make a decision. What if she was going to dump Edward for me, and I just walked away without knowing? Things would be easier to break off with Esme if I knew for certain that Bella wanted to stay with me, though the thought of a life without Esme made my heart ache. However, if I went off with Bella, Esme would never have to see me around her house or at a family function. It wouldn't be as easy for Bella if I ended up with Esme. Then again, maybe they would both get rid of me after they learned the truth, and I would be the one left out in the cold.

Bella frowned. "I'm taking that as a no."

I smiled as best as I could, propping myself up on my elbow and pulling out of her. She moaned softly as my cock slid against her leg.

"It's not that I don't want to, but I was hoping we could talk."

"About?" She was surveying me with that same look she'd had when I'd asked her about Edward the second night I was here in her bedroom.

"Where is this going between us?"

"Carlisle," she sighed, getting out of bed. "I thought we had agreed that we weren't going to talk about it."

Bella wrapped a towel around her body, and turned to face me with an exasperated expression.

"You're getting married in six weeks. How am I supposed to feel about that? Don't my feelings matter to you?"

She sighed. "Can't we just keep on having fun?"

"And what about Edward?" I asked, sitting up. "How do you think he will feel if he finds out you've been cheating on him? I mean, what are your intentions here?"

Probing Bella for some kind of information seemed like the best thing to do. If I was going to make an educated decision between Esme and Bella, I needed to know the truth.

"Edward doesn't have to know. We can keep on doing this."

"What about when you're walking down the aisle? Do you really expect me to sit back and watch you marry another man?"

Her cheeks flushed bright scarlet. "I thought you understood. I love Edward, but he can't do the things that you do. I've never been with anyone so strong before. You make me feel like myself, and I don't want that to end."

"Well, you can't have both of us. You must realize that by now."

God, I felt so stupid saying that. I was guilty of exactly the same thing.

"Don't you want me?" She whimpered and averted her eyes. There it was again—that shy, intimidated Bella that I wasn't used to.

I immediately closed the distance between us, wrapping one arm around her while lifting her chin with the other. "I always want you. I just don't want to_ share_ you. Please, tell me what you want from_ me_, Bella. I'm_ begging_ you."

"I—I can't."

She pulled away from me, and then slammed the bathroom door in my face.

"Bella," I urgently whispered against the door. "_Please_ talk to me."

"Go away, Carlisle. Just go."

I could hear her sobs through the large, wooden door. My heart sank at the thought of her in tears. I'd done this; it was by my hand that Bella was now in the midst of despair when only moments before she'd been the happiest girl in the world.

"I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. I need to know what's going on."

"I can't do this anymore. Please, just leave me alone."

Was she breaking up with me? An uncomfortable feeling started to spread throughout my chest. The weight of the feeling caused me to take a step back, and I gripped the bed railing for support. There was no explanation for the immense pain coursing through me. I'd always known that Bella had no intentions of staying with me; I was just a toy in her eyes, wasn't I? Still, it hurt me to hear her say the words.

"If that's what you want," I mumbled. I didn't really want to go. There were still so many unanswered questions. "Call me if you change your mind."

How could everything have gone so wrong in such a short amount of time?

"I won't."

Her words were final, and as I gathered my belongings and slipped out her front door, I couldn't help but think of whether or not my last memory of Bella would always be one of pain.

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><p><strong>AN: It's about time they had a decent discussion. Too bad for Carlisle that it didn't end well. However, you never know what might happen. Maybe...just maybe, Bella will change her mind. As always, thanks to hmmille for being an awesome beta! Next update will be Wednesday. Reviews are much appreciated, and I will be giving a spoiler on the Fictionators twitter on Monday, as well as one on Twinetwork on Tuesday!**


	11. Chapter 11: Calling it Quits

**Chapter Eleven—Calling it Quits**

I hadn't heard from Bella in over two weeks. Even as I sat across from Esme now, just watching her twirl a strand of pasta around a fork, my thoughts still lingered on the fight that had ended our relationship. I knew that it was for the best, but I still felt so confused about the situation. Bella obviously didn't want me in her life the way that I had once desired her. I'd always known that on some level. It didn't stop me from wishing that I'd done things differently. And to top it off, I still had no clue if my ongoing courtship with Esme would survive this mess.

"You seem distracted," she said before taking a mouthful of spaghetti.

"I'm sorry. There is a patient that's been on my mind. It's a very intense situation."

It wasn't a lie. Up until two weeks ago, Bella had been a patient. I just hadn't seen her since. She hadn't shown up to the past two sessions, and had sent no phone calls or text to cancel the appointments.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "I wish I could, but it's confidential."

Esme nodded and sipped on her wine before looking back to me. "Have you given anymore thought to Thanksgiving?"

Of course I had. Besides Bella, that was the only thing I'd been thinking about. I was beyond sexually frustrated, but the thought of having Thanksgiving dinner with the Evenson family had been scaring me out of even the simplest pleasures. Esme desperately wanted me to attend, and although I felt the need to comply with her every wish, I wasn't ready to face what I already knew would blow our relationship right out of the water—Edward. The moment I stepped foot inside of that house, I would lose Esme. What if I came face to face with Bella? Maybe I should express my concerns, or at least ask her about Edward's life. One simple question could solve everything: Is Edward engaged to a woman named Bella?

It would be an easy thing to ask, but then I would have to explain how I knew Bella's name. I wasn't ready to let that secret out just yet. The thought of lying to Esme any more than I already had disgusted me. But why hadn't she told _me_? Was there something that Esme was hiding about her son? She'd told me everything else about her life except for the fact that her son was about to be married to the person I'd been having sex with for the past few months.

"I don't think it's a good idea," I sighed, bringing Esme to a complete stand still.

"Because of Edward?"

_Yes, but mostly because I'm a lying asshole that doesn't deserve you._

She looked so sad, like I had just crushed all her hopes and dreams for the future. It made my heart twinge to see her that way.

"I don't want to cause an argument."

"He might not even come, you know."

"And if he does, are you prepared to introduce me as your boyfriend, or as your therapist?"

My words were harsh. I hadn't intended them to be that way, but the look on Esme's face suggested that I had pierced some hidden vulnerability that I had yet to discover.

"I think I should go," she said, placing her napkin on the table and standing up to grab her purse.

"Wait," I immediately replied. "I didn't mean that. I'm just having a hard time with things."

"I knew this would happen," she continued. "Why is it that every time I find myself enjoying something, it's taken from me? If you can't handle keeping this secret for the time being, why are you even with me?"

"Because…" I trailed off.

"Because what?"

Esme was standing by the front door, her hand reaching for the knob. I couldn't let her leave, not like this. The thought of losing both Esme and Bella—although I knew that was still a possibility once the truth came out—was tearing me to pieces. I just couldn't say the words.

"Nothing."

"Yeah, I thought so," she answered, a trace of upset lacing her words. "I should have known better."

I stared back at her feeling slightly angry. She was the one keeping the truth from Edward, not me. Well, not this specific secret anyway. I had my fair share of explanations to give, but it wasn't as if I was hiding the women in my life from my family. If they cared to ask me, I would probably tell them. Edward was still under the impression that I was just her therapist, and not the man she'd been seeing behind his back for the past few months. I thought that she'd taken a good first step towards telling him what was going on, however, since she refused to actually admit that I was her boyfriend, what was the point?

My anger was unfounded; I'd done far worse to Esme than simply covering up a romance. I just couldn't shake off the feeling that I was being used once again. Didn't I deserve any happiness, or was I too far gone?

"Just hold on a minute," I snapped. "I'm not the one telling Edward that I'm just your therapist, am I? Do you have any idea how that makes me _feel_?"

"I told you why I have to do that."

I could see tears welling up in her bright green eyes, but I couldn't stop my words from rushing out. "I feel like you're ashamed of me! You are a grown woman. Stop hiding behind Edward, and using him as an excuse to keep me at arm's length!"

Esme whipped around, and slammed the door shut behind her without a response. I'd never seen her so unhappy before, and once again, it was my fault. Just as I'd always feared, I was now alone with a half-eaten spaghetti dinner, and two empty glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing guys! Just a short chapter today. I've just finished writing this story and the rest of the chapters are with my wonderful beta hmmille! There will be one epilogue with this story, as well as some insight into Bella's mind. I was honestly surprised with the conclusion because when I started writing, it wasn't at all how I imagined it to go. However, I am happy with the end result, and I hope that you will be as well. All I can say (without letting the proverbial cat out of the bag) is that everything is not as it appears to be. I had a lot of fun with Carlisle last night-it's as close to the real thing as I can get :p **

**Next update will be over the weekend! Have a terrific day everyone! ~Vix~**


	12. Chapter 12: Drowning

**Chapter Twelve—Drowning**

Ever since I was a young boy, I'd always found the sound of raindrops to be soothing. But that wasn't the case today. Each ear splitting tap of the constant drumming against the window panes was giving me a headache.

Esme hadn't answered any of my calls over the past thirty-six hours, and although I knew that I was out of line with what I had said to her, it still stung. Much to Marge's annoyance—she hated calling my long list of clients—I'd cancelled all of my appointments for today. I had resigned myself to the recliner in the living room, just sprawled out in my pajamas like a puppy who had been scolded for doing its business in the house. That was exactly how I felt—caged and reprimanded.

The plasma television was doing very little to quell my unease. Although I was vaguely aware that Bo and Hope were off on yet another stupid adventure on _Days of Our Lives_, I wasn't really paying them much attention. I was watching it out of pure nostalgia—my mother enjoyed the soap opera. On the rare occasions that I stayed home from school due to illness, I would be forced to watch while my mother spewed rather hilarious commentary about the characters. I needed that sense of comfort today because my mind wouldn't relent in its hasty pursuit to drive me up the bloody wall.

Off to my left, I saw the remnants of my breakfast—partially frozen waffles. I hadn't had the strength to actually cook them thoroughly. Every part of my body ached, and I knew I was either coming down with a cold, or I was seriously worn down. The rest of my apartment was a mess. Articles of clothing, books from the shelf, and the papers that I'd pushed off of the table in the hallway were strewn about the floor, making the room look more like a disaster zone rather than my usually immaculate home. I'd been better at picking up the clutter that used to infest my apartment before meeting Esme. Today, however, I was too upset to care.

Esme's barely touched dinner from two nights ago and our wine glasses, still rested neatly in their proper place on the kitchen table. I hadn't been able to bring myself to put them away.

I wanted Esme back in my arms where she belonged. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and well, in this specific case, it made my heart burn with a terrible fire that no one could dowse except for her. It had been hard enough to lose Bella, but I could not lose Esme as well. I'd done all that I could to get her to listen to me without looking like a stalker, so the ball was now in her court. It wouldn't do much good to show up at her house or work, especially when my presence in her public life had caused our argument in the first place. The last thing that I wanted to do was cause her more distress. My messages of apology would have to do for the moment.

As the show went into a commercial, the intercom by the door began to chime, causing me to bolt out of the leather chair. My hands were fumbling over the button before the caller even had a chance to press it again. In my heart, I hoped that it was Esme on the other end.

"Yes," I panted, somewhat out of breath. "Yes, I'm here. Hello?"

"Carlisle, it's Bella. Can I come up?"

Bella?

I sprang back from the intercom, running my hands through my messy hair in disbelief. Bella never visited me during the daytime, and she hadn't even spoken to me in a fortnight. What the hell was she doing here at ten in the morning? What was she doing here at _all_? I should have been at work. There was no possible way for Bella to know that I wasn't, unless she had simply taken a guess, or perhaps she had phoned Marge.

I took a deep breath and buzzed her in, praying that I hadn't just made a huge mistake.

Racing to the bathroom, my heart burst into a quick rhythm. I threw a splash of water over my face and hair from the faucet, straightened out my clothes—oh _God_, I was still wearing pajamas—and quickly swished some mouthwash to get rid of any stale breath. I was as presentable as I was going to be.

I didn't know why on earth I was going through all the effort; Bella had left me high and dry. Maybe I was just excited to see her as she was my only link to Esme at the current time. I would take anything that I could get. On the other hand, I had missed Bella terribly, so perhaps my exhilaration stemmed from that absence.

"I hope this is okay," she said as I opened the front door and took her coat.

She was dressed in a tight, white tank top complete with blue jeans that hugged her hips in a flattering manner. Her ass looked so inviting to me, and I had to glance away for a moment. I'd already committed myself to Esme, leaving all thoughts of Bella in the past, or at least I _thought_ I had. Now, I wasn't so sure.

I thought that I'd managed to look away in time, but I hadn't. Bella caught me staring, and as she turned around, I tried not to gasp at the sight of her nipples clearly visible underneath the practically see through fabric covering her chest. Jesus Christ, what was she trying to _do_ to me?

"Why are you here?" I asked angrily, shutting the door and stomping off into the kitchen. I just wanted to have a distraction so I could prevent myself from taking another peek at the breasts that used to melt in my mouth almost every night.

"I came to apologize. It was rude of me to leave you hanging."

"You have Edward. It makes no difference to me what you do with your life." I banged a few plates around in the dishwasher to enhance the irritated tone to my voice. I was upset with her to a point, but masking my thrill at her sudden appearance seemed like the best thing to do.

She paused for a moment. From the corner of my eye, I saw her cast an odd glance towards the half-eaten meal on the table. I wondered if she realized that I had moved on. Did it pain her? "I thought you knew that I wasn't looking for something long-term. I never meant to hurt you."

I spun around completely so that I could look her in the eyes properly. My face was no doubt showing the somewhat irate nature of my feelings towards this woman at the moment. "You led me on for months, and now you come here expecting me to forgive you?"

I was one to talk about forgiveness, but I found myself suddenly enraged at the thought of her just waltzing back into my life after I'd finally found someone that I wanted to settle down with. A plethora of emotions pummeled me all at once—fear, excitement, anger, pleasure—causing me to ignore my hypocritical words. However, if I was going to attempt to work things out with Esme, I needed to make amends with Bella first. After all, the truth would come light soon enough, and if Esme kept me around once she learned what I'd been up to, Bella was going to be in my world whether I liked it or not.

In addition to that, I didn't want to piss Bella off enough to tell Edward about us, though I doubted she would ever let that cat out of the bag for fear of losing her fiancée. And then there was my job to consider—losing my license over this would be devastating to my career. One word from Bella would seal my fate with the review board. It was a very thin line to walk, and I was placing my trust in a woman who literally had me by the balls.

"Not forgive me," she whimpered, backing down. "Take me back."

"Take you…back?" I couldn't believe it.

"I miss you."

_God_, I missed her too. I just couldn't let her see that.

"I'm not going to start this _thing_ with you again. I can't do it while you're still engaged to be married, and I know that you don't want anything from me except my dick."

There was no way in hell that I was going to subject myself to any further humiliation. I had what I wanted now. I just needed to get Esme back. She couldn't stay mad at me forever, could she? I couldn't keep on playing these games with Bella unless she offered me some solid promise that she was about to leave Edward. If she could give me that guarantee, I knew that I would openly accept her again despite my feelings for Esme.

"Well, you _do_ have a pretty big dick, Doctor—"

I cut her off sharply. I knew she was after something. "Don't."

Her bottom lip jutted out slightly, forming a tantalizing pout. Against every emotion running through my body, that little pucker made me feel more aroused than I wanted it to, and I had to turn away to prevent Bella from seeing what was happening south of the border. I couldn't allow her to have _any_ ammunition.

"So that's it—you're just going to turn away from me? I thought you wanted to talk."

"You had your chance," I grumbled, though I honestly did wish to speak with her.

I didn't hear her approach, but as she appeared next to me and ran her fingernails down the side of my neck, I lunged away from the absolute audacity of her touch.

"I'd like you to leave, please," I added, just in case my hasty retreat hadn't been enough of a hint for her. She had no intentions of giving me the one piece of information that I so desperately wanted to hear.

"You don't mean that," she purred, stepping closer. I could see the silky outlines of her breasts bobbing up and down in her shirt as she moved. I wanted them in my hands, in my mouth—even though I knew it was a terrible thing to hunger for. She was impossible to resist, and unfortunately for me, Bella knew it.

"I do," I coughed out. "I mean it."

"No, you don't." She pressed her body against mine, leaning up in search of my lips.

"Bella, I want you to go."

I tilted my head up towards the cabinets lingering above us. My determination was fading with every puff of sweet smelling breath that brushed along the nape of my neck. If she didn't leave soon, I knew that I would give in to her desires. I just wanted to feel something—anything—other than misery.

"You want me." Her hands began to slide down my body. I just stood there.

"To go," I repeated, shutting my eyes. If I didn't look, maybe I could hold out.

"That's not what your body is telling me."

Bella squeezed my growing erection, causing me to groan. _God_, it felt so good to have her teasing me again. My heart was empty without Esme by my side, but with Bella stroking my bulging length, I had a distraction. I needed to feel _something_ with_ someone_. I couldn't deny that I had feelings for Bella that went well beyond a simple infatuation. This was wrong of me to want, and I couldn't stop myself from needing her touch.

"Please," I moaned. "Again."

"There's my boy," Bella whispered before nibbling on my ear lobe. "Now, tell me you want me too."

"I want you," I breathed out.

"Say it like you MEAN it," she practically growled.

I took her face in my hands, and crushed my lips to hers, drawing back only once to utter how badly I wanted her. "Bend the fuck over."

"Yes, sir!" With a salute, she immediately obeyed. Dropping her clothes on the floor, she took one look at the cluttered refuse on the kitchen table and leaned over the wooden edge, shaking her ass in the air.

I was drowning in the sadness of Esme not returning my phone calls mixed with the confusion over Bella's sudden appearance—something that I so desperately needed despite my commitment to Esme. The sensations were choking off the remainder of my resolve, and I couldn't control myself. I just wanted to submerge myself in something other than the pain, so I grabbed a condom from my wallet, slid down my pants—moving the latex down my shaft in record time—and thrust myself into Bella's voluptuous body.

Instantly, she lurched forward across the table, sending the wine glasses and plates crashing to the floor, but I carried on pounding into her as if I hadn't a care in the world. With a slight reach, I grabbed a fistful of her hair, bringing her back flush against my chest so that I could fondle her perky breasts.

"Shit, yes!" she cried out as my fingertips pinched her tipped nipples.

I didn't speak; I was using Bella to fulfill a need that had long since been dormant in her absence. I wanted Esme, not her, didn't I? She was merely a vessel to me at the moment, even though she drove me wild with just a flick of her tongue. I'd pushed Bella out of my life, and I had no intention of allowing her reentrance without a solid promise that she was completely mine. I had to keep on telling myself that for fear of falling back on my old habits.

"Fuck, I missed this!" she gasped, dropping forward onto the table again.

Her ass was bouncing with every slam of my cock. My eyes rolled back, and I grabbed that luscious backside, squeezing it like a sculptor might mold a piece of clay.

"Jesus Christ," I finally moaned out. She felt so good wrapped around my length that I began to forget about the reason I'd been upset in the first place.

"That's it—give it to me, Doctor Cullen!"

Like the caged animal that I was, I instinctively obeyed.

When we had both reached our climax and finished our wicked deed, Bella wandered off to clean herself up, leaving me to reassemble the pieces of my shattered life.

_What have I done? _

As I pulled up my pajama pants, I was hit with an intense urge to vomit once again, only this time the waffles that had only been partially cooked _did_ come pouring out of me into the sink. I was a monster—one who preyed on vulnerable women who were just looking for a little love in their life. I may have been manipulated into fucking Bella today, but that didn't make it all right in my eyes. I wanted Esme, and there was no way that I could expect her to trust me if she ever bothered to talk to me again. She was still in the dark about my activities, but I knew now that I really loved Esme, and I deserved anything that she had to throw in my direction. Bella's reluctance to leave Edward would always be a factor in our relationship. It was because of Edward that Bella couldn't love me.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, returning to the kitchen. Her eyes darted between myself and the kitchen sink with a painful expression. She was fully dressed, but it didn't matter to me anyway; I couldn't fuck her again.

As her voice filled the open space between us, I made a solemn promise to myself that I would never fall for her charms in the future.

"I'm fine," I replied before rinsing out my mouth and washing the voided contents down the drain. The smell that lingered behind was enough to make my stomach churn. "I think you should go now."

"Yeah, I have to meet Edward."

"I don't care," I barked.

And I_ didn't_ care—she could do whatever the hell she wanted to do with Edward Fucking Platt. I was through being a pawn in her little game. It would _always_ be Edward. I knew that now.

Without another word, Bella left my apartment. The moment she was out of ear shot, my knees gave way and I slid down the front of the refrigerator, sobbing uncontrollably.

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><p><strong>AN: Carlisle is seriously messed up at the moment, but have no fear...the next few chapters are full of secrets, explanations, and a little family therapy that will either break him, or make him. I will leave it to you to decide! The moment of truth is coming-will it be Esme, or Bella? **

**Thanks hmmille for everything that you've done and for making me laugh constantly with your comments! Also a big thanks to Suzaddiction for spreading the message about my story and for being such a nice person! I will be putting teasers on twitter this week with the fictionators and twinet! Thanks for reading and reviewing! 3 xx**


	13. Chapter 13: Reconciliation

**Chapter Thirteen—Reconciliation**

Trying to make amends with Esme was like waiting for a tropical storm in Death Valley during the middle of July—impossible. She was as stubborn as she was beautiful. I knew that I should probably let her go since what I was about to tell her would crush any hopes that I had of a reconciliation in the first place, but she'd granted me the opportunity to plead my case, and I wasn't about to waste it.

"I stopped by your office yesterday for my appointment, but you weren't there," she said, entering my apartment with a scowl sullying her face. I didn't like the uncomfortable look that she was casting in my direction. She only deserved to wear a smile.

"I took a sick day," I replied, shuffling after her. Part of me was smacking myself silly for missing the chance to see her yesterday.

I'd actually taken almost a week off of work to get over the flu, and also to purge any lasting reminder of Bella from my home. I couldn't erase the memories—the part of me that loved Bella clung to those memories with an urgent need—but I was sure as hell going to remove her presence from the physical aspects of my life. I hadn't heard from Bella in days, and once she had left my apartment, I closed the door on her forever. I would never touch her again. Since she hadn't called me, I assumed that the feeling had to be mutual. It was a bittersweet realization, something that actually pained me more than I thought it would.

A new couch and kitchen table decorated my apartment now. I was just grateful that all of our escapades had been contained to those two areas. It had dawned on me—somewhere between the delivery of the couch, and the removal of the table—that perhaps I'd kept Bella out of my bed for a reason. I couldn't pinpoint the exact motivation, but I was sure that whatever had prevented me from entertaining her frequent advances in the bedroom had something to do with Esme. Maybe subconsciously I'd been waiting for the right person.

"I didn't realize that you'd been ill," Esme said, interrupting my train of thought. "Edward is also sick with the flu. It must be going around."

"Yeah," I mumbled, walking over to the kitchen cabinet. It wasn't going around as badly as Esme thought. Edward was probably sick because he'd been with Bella who had stolen herself a quick screw with the original perpetrator—me. "Can I get you a drink?"

Esme shook her head. "I'm fine."

"When a woman says she's fine, it usually means that she's anything but all right," I sighed. I knew enough about the opposite sex to recognize when they were out of sorts. "Listen, I'm really sorry for the way that I acted last week."

"You don't know how hard it is for me. I have to find some balance in my life, and I thought that I was making steps towards becoming my own person. Edward is very difficult to deal with at times, and I just wanted you to understand that he has to come first. When you got upset, I couldn't process that, so I left."

"I know, and I am so sorry." The scowl had lifted from her face, but I could tell that she was still very unhappy with my behavior. How could I explain what was really going on with Bella when we were already at odds? How could I tell her about Bella at all while Esme was still withholding the fact that Edward was about to be married from me?

"I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I couldn't reply to your messages because I just didn't understand your reluctance to agree to the secrecy for a little while longer. I know now that it was wrong of me to insist."

I'd had enough secrets to last a lifetime, but I couldn't say that to Esme. She seemed so distraught over the simplest problem that I wasn't sure if she would ever be able to handle the truth. I would have to find a better time. Right now, I needed to mend the bond that had been severed between us.

I crossed the room and took her hands in mine. "I was out of line, Esme, not you. I disrespected your family, and your wishes. Can you forgive an old fool?"

The touch of her smooth skin flooded my body just as it always did when we were so close. I could feel her gentle nature seeping into my pores, calming my inner turmoil.

"You're forgiven," she whispered.

Leaning down slightly, I placed a single kiss on her lips. My heart felt lighter than it had in days. I was so relieved to have Esme back in my arms that I tucked my little speech about my past relationship with Bella into a tight corner of my mind, and slammed the door on my confession. Now was not the right time.

"By the way," she added, stepping away with a lick of her lips. "I like the new furniture."

I forced a laugh. "It was time to spruce up the place a bit."

She ran her hands over the sleek, black wood of the new table, bending down to examine the details of the grain. Whatever she saw there must have been fascinating to her eyes because a dazzling smile flashed across her face. In the glow of the wall sconces, she looked like an angel with bright streaks of gold mixed into her long, silky hair.

"What are you staring at?" she asked, puzzled.

I couldn't avert my eyes. The radiating beauty that was Esme Anne Evenson had captured my attention. What man in his right mind would ever want to look away?

"Nothing," I said with a smile. It was the wrong thing to say.

Immediately, Esme snapped up from the table, glaring at me as if I'd just insulted some kind of fond tradition that I was unaware of. "Are we going to play that game again?"

"What game?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"You use that word when you're avoiding a question. You did it the other day."

I tried to sift through the rafters of my memory to unravel the mystery that she was talking about, but I came up almost empty. The only time that I'd ever purposely avoided answering Esme was when it came to my feelings. I could remember wanting to say that I was in love with her, and at the very last second, changing my mind. Was that the moment she was referring to?

"You mean when I asked about if I was going to be introduced as your boyfriend or your therapist?"

She threw her hands up, seemingly exasperated. I hadn't meant the words to sound harsh in any capacity. In fact, it no longer mattered to me if I was presented as a pile of dog shit, just as long as it was Esme that was doing the introduction.

"I can't believe you just said that…_again_!" she yelled.

"Wait, Esme, that's not what I meant."

I hurried to catch up to her as she made a break for the door. _Women_.

"It certainly sounded as though you're not over what I asked of you. Are you even going to think about coming to Thanksgiving?"

I couldn't go to Thanksgiving, could I? Was there any chance that we'd all get through that dinner unscathed? Should I take the risk? The answer to that was a resounding no.

"I can't." I exhaled a heavy breath.

"You can't or you don't want to?"

_I can't come to Thanksgiving and face Bella. If I show up there, everything that I have been working to put behind me will come rushing to the surface, Esme! I've been fucking your son's future wife for months. One foot inside your home, and it's all over. You won't want anything to do with me, and I'll probably lose my license!_

"I can't." I repeated.

"Liar." She was half way to the door.

"Please don't go," I said, scrambling after her. I could not let Esme leave me again. "I need you."

"You can't even come to my house for dinner!" she shouted. "Why—why do you need me?"

"Because…" I trailed off, trying to find the words I so desperately wanted to say.

"All right, I'll bite. Because why?"

"Because, I love you. There, I said it." It was an honest answer; I was truly and madly in love with her.

She just stared at me in disbelief while my words seemed to echo around the room. They were hanging out there like some kind of a parasite infecting a host—deadly, and taking their own sweet time to sink in.

"Say something," I added.

"You don't even know me, or what I'm capable of. How can you love me?"

Not the answer I'd expected to hear, but I could work with it.

"I know that you're a sucker for a good Lo Mein dinner. You don't like to see people in distress, and your family means the world to you. I know that every morning when the sun hits your face, you shine brighter than any star in the sky. When you glance into the mirror, you don't see how beautiful you really are, and when someone compliments you, it's like you're hearing it for the first time. I know that somewhere along the line, you suffered a terrible tragedy that makes you keep people at a distance, even though you want nothing more than to find comfort in that person. Not a day goes by that you don't astound me. You have a warmth that radiates from your very soul, you're incredibly talented, and you're the most generous person that I've ever known. And I know that if you give me the opportunity to unravel the rest of the secrets that you keep hidden in your heart, it will only make me love you more."

It was the biggest leap of faith that I had ever taken—not to mention the largest speech—but the words were completely true. I could not lose Esme, despite the fear in my heart. Once my own secrets came to light—and I knew that they would—my words would all be in vain. At least Esme would be able to catch a glimpse of the man that I longed to be before that happened; the man that she made me _want_ to become.

"I don't know what to say," she whimpered.

_Tell me you love me. Tell me that you want me the way I want you._

"You don't have to say anything, I understand."

She didn't speak. Esme simply dropped her purse by the door and crossed the open space between us, melting her lips against mine.

The action was so quick that it caught me off guard, and I staggered backwards into the couch. The taste of cinnamon poured into my mouth as her tongue eagerly searched for my own. The moment she met her mark, I felt my cock protest with an urgent need for more. As if she could read my mind, a dainty hand fell to my waist, circling down to my engorged shaft.

"Esme," I breathed out. "What are you doing?"

It was the first time that she'd ever touched me; we'd never gone this far before. I had no idea what she was up to, but it was unlike anything that I'd ever felt before. Bella's touch had always been so ferocious, yet Esme was soft and attentive in her strokes. It turned me on more than I had expected it to. I was so used to the idea of a quick fuck, that I'd forgotten how intimate sex was supposed to be.

"Make love to me, Carlisle," she whispered against my lips.

Make love, she'd said. I wasn't just a fuck to her like I felt I had been to Bella. She wanted me to caress her body, not ravage it. It still felt wrong to want this woman knowing that Bella was going to be her daughter-in-law, but I was done with that part of my life, wasn't I? I loved Esme in ways that Bella couldn't possibly understand. I was my own man now, and for the first time in decades, everything was clear. Esme was my soul mate.

The thought brought a smile to my lips, and I carefully lifted her into my arms. "It would be an honor, my angel."

I laid her down on my bed, casting all thoughts of Bella from my mind. This was a new experience for the both of us, and I wasn't going to taint it with visions of another woman. I could barely remember what it felt like to be with Bella now. All that mattered was the woman sitting across from me on the mattress, slowly unbuttoning her cream blouse.

"Be gentle with me," she pleaded. "I haven't done this in a very long time."

"You don't have to worry about a thing. I promise I won't hurt you."

Esme leaned across the grey comforter to take my hand. "Touch me."

She guided my hand forward, slipping it between the fabric of her blouse and silk bra. Her breast was so perfectly matched to the curve of my hand, almost like the pair had been crafted to fit together.

Gradually, I leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her bare shoulder while sliding the rest of the blouse down her arms to the bedspread. She let out a very quiet moan as my lips grazed her skin.

"Is this all right?" I asked, moving my hands around her back to unclasp her white bra.

"More than all right," she whispered.

The bra fell to the sheets, and I glanced down at Esme's naked, rounded breasts. She was just so amazingly beautiful in this light that I couldn't help but return my fingertips to her irresistible nipples. Her body was just the right size—slender, yet curvy in all the spots that drove me wild.

With a selfish need, I kissed my way down to the cusp of her breast. Allowing my tongue to lick a pattern around her nipples, I suddenly realized that Esme had been the one for me all along. This was the woman that my heart had been waiting for. Bella was nothing but a distant memory.

I could feel her hands reaching into my hair to hold me closer, and also the urgent declaration from my cock begging to be let free of its confines. But the animalistic tendencies that I'd been accustomed to over the past few months were completely absent from my touch. Esme deserved better than that.

"I want to taste you," I said, looking up. "May I?"

I'd never actually asked anyone that question before, but if I was going to do this right, then it needed to be with her permission.

"I'm a little nervous."

"I will take good care of you, trust me."

Esme nodded, giving me all the consent that I needed. With a soothing, loving movement, I kissed a trail down her stomach, and removed the rest of her clothing. She was so still that she could have been mistaken for a statue if one didn't know that her skin was as warm as an island sunset. I had to make this perfect, so as I parted her moist slit with my tongue, I made sure to keep a steady hand on her thigh for some reassurance.

"Oh, Carlisle," she moaned, arching her back.

My tongue danced across her clit as I slid my knee in between her legs, gently spreading them apart. She tasted so good in my mouth, like a mixture of cinnamon and spice. This was a flavor that I would never tire of. I was always going to want more. Using two fingers, I tenderly slid them inside of her, and began to move in soft strokes. Nothing could be rushed about this moment.

The commanding impulses in my body begged me to dive deeper into this pleasure, but as I carefully held her clit between my teeth, I felt Esme shift underneath me. At first, the sensation of her squirming while my mouth explored her sex made me smile, but as I looked up, she seemed more afraid than engrossed in what I was doing.

"Relax," I said as she tensed up. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"No, you're not hurting me. I'm just not…used…to…it." Her voice broke as my fingers carried on with their delicate movements. "I'm sorry."

I withdrew my hand and moved up her chest, not wanting to put her in any distress. "You never need to apologize to me. Just let me love you."

"Please." It was all she said before I returned my mouth to her warm center.

She was moving with me now. Every pass of my tongue was met with a fragile cry of ecstasy from Esme. Within moments, she had released several times, covering my face with her incredible essence. I was in desperate need of her touch, but once again, my angel was two steps ahead of me.

"I need you," she panted, grabbing a fistful of my hair. It was more intense than I'd expected, but I wasn't going to complain.

I shed my clothes, slid a condom down my fully erect cock, and slowly entered her.

"Dear God!" I cried out. "You feel so good."

"Don't stop," she grunted. "I don't ever want this to end."

There was no possible way for me to hold out long enough to give Esme what she wanted. The absolute tightness of her walls crashed down around me with every light thrust of my hips. I clawed at the comforter for a distraction, digging my fingertips into the fabric, but not even that could dispel the waves of unyielding bliss that coursed through me.

"I love you, Esme," I moaned, dropping down slightly, and kissing across her chest. I just needed to feel her wrapped around me for however long she would allow it.

"I—I love you too, Carlisle…" Her words were lost to the moans encapsulating the room.

"Come with me," I whispered against her neck. "Let me know when you're ready."

I had no idea why Esme brought out this romantic side in me, but I liked it. The intense feeling was so much more than just a romp through a haystack. I wanted to savor the moment so badly.

"I'm ready," she panted through her answer.

With a gentle, yet continual movement inside of her, I quickened my pace. My vision became blurred as I felt her body clamp down around me, and released in a sudden burst of fury. I buried my face in Esme's caramel locks, simultaneously experiencing the euphoria of our orgasms colliding in heated passion. It was the most powerful feeling that I'd ever had in my life, and I collapsed onto the bed frame next to the woman I loved, gasping for air.

"That was beyond perfect." I was desperately trying to catch my breath, so my words tumbled out in a torrent of shaky syllables.

Esme peppered soft kisses across my shoulder as she spoke. "I've never been happier than I am right at this very moment."

She moved her hands down my waistline until she met with my still pulsating shaft, removing the condom and tossing it into the garbage can next to the bed. Her fingertips felt like the thrum of a butterfly's wings as she returned to caress my member a second time before snuggling back into my side.

"Stay with me tonight," I begged. "I couldn't bare it if I woke up without you."

"I promise I will be here."

With a content sigh, I pulled the blankets over us and made one last solemn promise to Esme. I knew that I would regret my decision when the day came, but I needed her to know how important she was to me. "Set an extra plate at the dinner table on Thanksgiving."

I would have to find a way to tell her about Bella before someone else did it for me. Esme deserved to know the truth about my love life. I hadn't been upfront with her when we'd started dating, and as of tonight, I was through with lies.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yes, I went there. I had to. There is such a difference between Bella and Esme that I needed to give the poor guy something to hold on to. However, we are not done with Miss Swan, and Edward will finally make his presence known in the next chapter. Thank you to my beta hmmille who has helped me tremendously over the past year, and also a special thanks to CarlislesWhore for her support. I have been a little sick lately, but I will try to put a teaser on the twi network site/twitter for tomorrow! Have a great week everyone! Thanks for reading and reviewing! xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14: Meeting Edward

**Chapter Fourteen—Meeting Edward**

I arrived on Esme's doorstep at precisely four in the afternoon. The directions had been sitting on my fridge for the past three days, scrawled out in her impressive cursive. Everywhere I went, I was reminded of that torturous note. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to Esme about my previous relationship with Bella because of it. I didn't want to hurt her.

I thought that what I'd had with Bella was love. She was caring when she wanted to be, but essentially, I was only being used to fulfill a need that Edward wasn't. I'd stayed with her out of the sheer pleasure that she brought into my life, and it was apparent to me that Bella had no intentions of returning my love. Her constant mood swings had rubbed off on me, blinding me with lust. Bella had some serious issues going on with Edward that no amount of sex was ever going to cure if they didn't sit down and talk. Since we'd nearly broken my old kitchen table, I hadn't heard a word from her which indicated to me that I never really meant that much to Bella in the first place. As painful as that realization was, it brought me to Esme. I didn't understand that there was another way until I'd almost sent Esme running out my front door for the second time.

She was everything that I had ever wished for, and now that I was only moments away from a potential catastrophe, I wanted nothing more than to be alone with her in a room, spilling all of the secrets that I'd been keeping from her since day one—my life with Bella, how I'd been seeing both of them at the same time, the sick day quickie, and the fact that I knew Edward was connected to the two people that I'd been fucking, or in Esme's case, romancing. I truly thought that this was a bad idea, so as I knocked on the door and held my breath, I prayed that there was a back exit in case I needed to make a quick escape.

"You came!" Esme squealed, pulling me into her arms. It had only been a few days since we'd joined together in such perfect harmony, but I already wanted more of her touch. However, there would be no kisses exchanged today. I'd agreed to appear as her therapist only, and I had to play the part if I wanted to keep her in my life.

I leaned away from the embrace just to tease her. "Is that any way to greet your therapist?"

"Carlisle, about that," she sighed, ushering me inside and lowering her voice. I was instantly met with the delicious aroma of turkey and stuffing. "I know that you think it's wrong of me to lie to Edward, but I couldn't bear it if he was cruel to you. It's much better this way. You understand, right?"

She was protecting me. I could sympathize with that. I would do anything to shield Esme from harm. She had become my entire world.

"Of course, you needn't worry."

Esme smiled and closed the door behind me. I took a moment assess her home as she collected my coat. I could tell from the intricate decorations that she had a remarkable eye for interior design. A warm, deep brown coating on the walls created a perfect backdrop for the red and gold picture frames lining the hallway. Each painting was mounted in a matching border with little name plates depicting the artist. Monet, Piccasso, and DaVinci sat nestled along the western wall, while more current samples of watercolor and impressionist pieces were granted the entire length of the eastern foyer.

"Do you like them?" she asked, closing the closet door.

"I knew that you were a collector, but I have to say, I'm impressed."

She grinned. "I thought you might be."

"Do you think that we could talk before I meet your son?"

I wasn't entirely certain what I was doing. I just wanted to go into this dinner with a clear conscious. Telling Esme about Bella seemed like the right thing to do, even if it wasn't exactly the best timing. At the very least, I had to tell her that I knew about her future family member. I couldn't risk Bella opening that can of worms for me.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just that something has been bugging me for a few weeks. I think I know your son through a mutual friend."

"Oh, and who would that be?"

I was about to tell her when a familiar voice called out from the dining room, freezing me in place. "Esme, do you have another bottle opener? Edward broke the end of this one." Bella looked up—a cheap, plastic tool clenched in her fist—but she didn't seem too surprised to see me. "Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you come in. You must be the therapist that we've been hearing so much about."

What the fuck did she just say? Esme has been talking about me? _Dear God_, was that why Bella hadn't called me for those two weeks? Was it possible that Esme's words had prevented Bella from calling after our latest encounter as well? I hadn't heard a word from Bella since then, and although I had thought that she'd finally gotten the hint, maybe something else had diverted her attention. I wondered for a moment what Esme had told them. Nothing sexual, I knew that much, but what had she said to make Bella disappear from my life with no explanations?

"Carlisle, this is Edward's girlfriend, Bella. Yes, Bella, this is my therapist, Doctor Carlisle Cullen."

"Nice to meet you," Bella snickered. "And the last time I checked, I was his _fiancée_, not his girlfriend."

Esme gave me a sour look, like she was trying to convey a silent apology for Bella's condescending remark. All I could do was stand there, absolutely petrified. I'd seen it coming, but in true Carlisle fashion, I'd turned a blind eye and hoped for the best. Now there was no going back. Bella would reveal what we'd done together, and everything would be over for me. I should have listened to my gut weeks ago, and just flat out told one of them about Edward. It would have saved a lot of heartache. But if Esme had been telling Bella about our sessions, did that mean that Bella had known all along, and that she'd kept the information from me?

I felt sick, completely overridden with fear. A bubble of anger was starting to slither its way through me, threatening to burst at any moment. I felt betrayed, even though I was the cause for all this mess to begin with. How could Bella not have told me? How could she carry on seducing me knowing that her mother-in-law was a patient of mine, and that I would be attending this dinner today? I'd been set up by the one person I'd so foolishly trusted.

"It's nice to meet you too," I managed to choke out. I had no idea why Bella was pretending not to know me, but I suspected it had something to do with the fact that she was still playing her little game, not to mention whatever Esme had said. I couldn't bring myself to shake her hand when she held it out to me.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to Edward," Esme insisted, placing her hand on my back and guiding me into the kitchen.

Bella followed behind us, casually gliding her fingertips across my ass—avoiding Esme with every stroke—like she had a right to touch me. Was this all just a thrill for her? I did my best to ignore the sensation as I couldn't allow myself to fall prey to her advances, especially not in front of Esme. I would deal with her later.

Edward was seated on a high stool at what looked like a breakfast bar, complete with glazed, Italian tiles. His bronze hair was sculpted into short spikes that seemed too tall to possibly stand up on their own. A beer bottle sat in his hands—most of the label had been peeled from the glass—and as we approached, he instantly went rigid.

A pair of piercing blue eyes completely full of disdain glared in my direction. The first thought that popped into my head was that somehow he knew that I'd slept with both Bella and his mother. That deep down, he'd been aware of our secret rendezvous the entire time. But as Esme sighed, I realized that it had more to do with my odd appearance at their family gathering than my original fears.

"Carlisle, this is Edward."

I held out my hand, trying my best to still the nerves racking my body. After all this time, I was finally meeting the infamous Edward Platt, and I was scared out of my fucking mind.

"So what—you're on a first name basis now?" Edward grumbled, refusing to shake my hand.

"Don't be rude," Esme said softly, stepping in between us.

"It's all right." I placed my hand on her shoulder, and turned towards Edward. "Doctor Cullen is just fine."

I could see Bella biting her lip as she slid into Edward's lap, and I knew that she was probably thinking about how that name had played a huge part in our relationship. It was hard to look at her knowing that she'd more than likely been waiting for this day all in an effort to watch me squirm. I wasn't going to give her that satisfaction, but I had to admit that the word awkward didn't quite cover the situation.

"Well, now that's all squared away, can we please eat?" Bella giggled. "I'm starving."

"You're always hungry," Edward hummed, rubbing his nose along Bella's jawline.

She leaned into his touch, gliding her fingertips up his arms until they threaded into the reddish strands of his hair. She was doing this on purpose, and despite how I felt about Esme, I was finding myself more jealous than I should have been. The only thing that I was grateful for at the moment was the fact that Edward's attention was no longer on me.

"Is everything all right?" Esme whispered. I just nodded as I followed her into the dining room, leaving Bella and Edward's grotesque display of affection behind us. I couldn't stomach it for some reason. "I'm sorry about those two. They are always carrying on."

"You never mentioned that Edward was engaged." There was no emotion in my voice. I wanted to know why Esme hadn't seen fit to tell me even though I was guilty of the same exact dishonesty.

"I, uh…" She paused for a moment, bracing her hands on the dining room table that had yet to be laid out for the meal. "I didn't think it was important at the time."

She didn't think that it was necessary to tell me? Of course, Esme didn't realize that I already knew Bella, but to hide the fact that she was engaged to Edward seemed rather odd to me. If she would have just told me, maybe I wouldn't be in the predicament I now found myself in.

"I guess I just thought that you would have said something to me."

She sighed. "I didn't say anything for a few reasons, mostly because Bella and I don't really get along with each other. She thinks I'm standing in the way of her relationship with Edward since he's always trailing after me. I'm more of a hindrance than anything, and I didn't want to complicate our relationship with a bunch of woe is me stories about my future daughter-in-law. We will work it out some day…I hope."

I swallowed the lump rising in my throat, and pulled Esme against me. Her voice had sounded so sad as she recounted the reason for her deception. I couldn't fault her for that.

"Please, don't," she mumbled, pulling free of my grasp. "Not here."

"I'm sorry, I forgot."

Lowering my head, I let go of her all together and took a step back. I had to learn my place, and right now Esme needed me to portray the role of a therapist, not the kindhearted man that she'd fallen in love with. At least, I hoped that she saw me as a gentle soul, for the time being anyway.

"It won't always be this way," she said as she left me alone in the dining room.

I heard her calling out for Edward—something about setting the table—but I didn't really pay attention. I understood why she had kept Bella a secret—it wasn't easy for her to be hated—however, I just couldn't fathom why anyone would dislike Esme in the first place. She was loving, compassionate, and had an amazing pair of breasts. On the other hand, Bella had never mentioned Esme either, so maybe her claim was justified. But could it truly be hate, and what were the other reasons that Esme had mentioned?

"Having a nice time?" Bella whispered, scaring me stupid.

I stumbled forward into the table, banging my right thigh against the rounded oak wood. As I gripped the edge to steady myself, I felt Bella's hand shoot up my leg to my groin, causing me to lurch backwards into the wall. She spun away from me with a grin, shaking her hand in the air as if my sudden movement had injured her.

"God, you're so hot," she mouthed.

"Is everything okay in there?" Esme shouted.

"I just knocked the table," Bella replied, never taking her eyes off of me. "No worries!"

I took Bella by the arm and pinned her against the wall that I'd fallen against, looming over her like an irate madman. She was biting her lower lip, looking up to me through strands of stray hair that had fallen around her face.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I hissed through my clenched teeth. I was completely infuriated with her behavior, but I had to keep my voice down to spare Esme from the pain that our conversation would most certainly bring.

"Just saying hello," she grinned back.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I couldn't believe how manipulative Bella had become. "You knew this was going to happen, and yet you said nothing. How could you do this to me?"

"Don't act all innocent," she crooned. "You're enjoying this as much as I am."

I moved in closer. "You knew that Esme was my patient, didn't you?"

"She talks about you practically every day. It's not a secret, unless there's more going on than meets the eye?"

She took me by surprise. I wasn't sure if Bella had already figured out that I'd been dating Esme behind her back, or if she was genuinely trying to gather information. Either way, I wasn't about to give her anything that she could use against me. "That's none of your business."

She laughed, causing me to forcibly drag her along the wall and away from prying ears that might be listening to our intense discussion.

"Oh, you want to play it rough, do you?" A wicked smile appeared on Bella's face.

"What I want is for you to leave me alone."

"I don't think that you do. If that was the case, you wouldn't have fucked the ever living shit out of me the other night."

I braced my hands on the wall, trapping Bella between the muscles of my upper arms, and leaned down to catch her eyes. "It meant nothing to me, is that understood? I don't want you anymore, and the sooner you get that through your pretty little head, the better." Even as I said the words, I instantly wanted to take them back. It _had_ meant something to me. I just couldn't get over the truth that she had set me up.

"You know, you should be careful what you say to me, Doctor Cullen. I might actually start to believe that you're finished with this." She reached down and stroked my length through the thin fabric of my slacks.

I should have moved away, but I couldn't. I was stuck between Bella and a massive grandfather clock that was nestled just behind me. The only thing that I could do was beg. "Please, let me go."

"Not until you take it back."

"I'm not taking anything back," I snapped. "I don't want you anymore."

She squeezed my tight balls, forcing a ripple of pain and pleasure to shoot through my body. I couldn't decide if I liked the sensation, but there was no denying that the familiar touch of her fingers was making me rock hard.

"Take it back."

"No," I grunted, closing my eyes.

"Maybe you need to be reminded of why you love me."

I heard the sound of a zipper being pulled down, followed by the eager probing of Bella's fingers as she reached into my boxers.

"Stop, Bella. Please don't do this," I said, but the words were barely audible. My eyes closed of their own accord as she touched my cock. This seductive creature knew how to control my body, and with every stroke along my shaft, I was falling under her spell again.

"You play nice with me, and I will play nice with you," she mumbled quietly against my neck.

"We're not alone."

"Which makes it all the more tempting, don't you think?"

All I could do was nod. This was the reason that I'd been with Bella from the start—forbidden fruit. The pure excitement coursing through me was undeniable. As wrong as it was, I couldn't stop her needy caress.

"Bella, I need some help with these plates!" Edward called out from the kitchen.

Stilling the movements of her hand, Bella withdrew herself from my pants, looking up to me with a devilish smile. "We will have to continue this later."

She ducked under my arm that was still braced against the wall, and disappeared around the corner, leaving me breathless and alone with one of the biggest hard-ons I'd had in months.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And there's Edward. Bella is up to a few tricks of her own at the moment, and in the next chapter you will see why. I will posting again over the weekend. This story remains one about Carlisle and Bella discovering who they are and what they want out of life, versus what they already have. There is always some hidden meaning or twist in every piece of fiction, and it might surprise you in the next few chapters. Bella is a little temptress in this fic, but she has her reasons. I hope that this will answer some of the questions about Carlisle and Bella's relationship as opposed to Carlisle and Esme. I promise that everyone will have a happy ending. xx**


	15. Chapter 15: A Thanksgiving to Remember

**Chapter Fifteen—A Thanksgiving to Remember**

"And that's why we always put the toilet seat down in our house, isn't it Edward?"

Esme's laughter filled the room, and as much as I wanted to devote my full attention to the lovely woman next to me, I couldn't. For the past thirty minutes, Bella had been playing footsy with my crotch under the table. She'd slumped down in her chair so that her long, luscious legs would reach in between my thighs. I'd been doing everything that I could to keep the hidden affection from being noticed which basically consisted of placing a white napkin across my lap. I didn't have the means to do anything else about the situation with Esme so close to me. I already felt guilty enough about what happened prior to dinner.

"Mom, I'm sure Doctor Cullen doesn't want to hear about how I split my lip open when I was ten," Edward sighed. He seemed as oblivious to Bella's little game as Esme was.

"On the contrary," I spoke up. "I'm always interested in hearing stories."

"I suppose that's why you're a therapist," Edward stated before taking a sip of his Chianti.

"Don't you ever get tired of listening to people?" Bella asked with a slight grin forming on her face.

"I wouldn't be in the field if that was the case."

Suddenly, I jumped, banging my knee on the underside of the table as Bella curled her toes around my stiff length. I managed to catch my glass before it toppled over onto Esme's red lace tablecloth.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Esme inquired, leaning over to rest her hand on my shoulder. At the last minute, she quickly jerked back, probably afraid that Edward would see through her rouse.

"Yes, is everything all right?" Bella's words were almost a giggle.

I cleared my throat. "Yes—yes, I'm fine. It was just a muscle spasm."

A muscle spasm was an understatement. Bella had touched a very sensitive part of my dick, arousing me to my fullest. I had barely the sense of mind to speak. All I wanted was to release the growing tension in my pants.

"Is that a common problem for you, Doc?" Edward smirked.

"Edward." It was a warning from Esme, and he quickly went back to his wine.

"Okay, change of subject," Bella announced as she continued to slide her foot up and down my length. "How is Esme's therapy going? Inquiring minds want to know."

Instantly, Esme blushed and looked away. Was Bella doing this on purpose? I was starting to think that Bella really _did_ hate Edward's mother more than I had originally realized. This was the second time today that she'd seemingly embarrassed her, and I was furious.

"I can't discuss that any more than I can speak about what goes on with _your _therapy, Bella. You know that," I answered sharply.

Silence filled the room. They were all staring at me like I was insane. Bella had even ceased in her persistent attempts to make me come under the table.

"I shouldn't have spoken so harshly, I'm sorry," I added. Perhaps it was my tone of voice that had them all gawking at me as if I'd just confessed to a horrible crime.

"Bella doesn't go to therapy," Edward snapped.

I glanced across the table at Bella in disbelief. Her eyes were averted, and she was sliding up the back of the chair in an effort to straighten her position, completely removing her foot from my cock. Had she really not told Edward that she'd been going to therapy for the past year?

"I think what the good Doctor meant to say was that _if_ I went to therapy, he wouldn't betray my confidence."

That wasn't what I had meant at all, and as I released my shaking hands from the table, I realized that I'd just done more than expose Bella's secret, I'd revealed my own as well.

I could see Esme glaring at me in shock. Bella's correction hadn't phased her at all. Without realizing it at the time, I'd subsequently admitted to having known Bella all along. And although Esme had neglected to tell me of her son's fiancée, I knew that I was the one at fault here. We may have kept secrets from each other, but _my_ betrayal ran deeper than just a vast clientele. Had Esme finally put two and two together?

"I'm going to get the pumpkin pie," Esme mumbled, pushing back from the table.

"I'll help you." I followed behind her without hesitation, covering my erection the best as I could. I needed some distance from Bella. Was there no extent to the depth of her lies?

"I don't need your help," Esme grumbled as she fetched four china plates from the cupboard above her.

"Have I done something wrong?"

She spun around with an angry expression. "Is Bella your patient?"

My heart was thumping in my chest so loudly that I was certain that Esme could hear the frantic sound. Her green eyes were surveying me with a trace of pain lingering under the anger that she was clearly displaying. I couldn't lie to her. If I wanted to retain any sort of decency, I had to tell her the truth. "Yes."

"How could you not have told me?" She stacked the plates on the counter, never looking away from me.

"It would have been a breach of ethics," I sighed. Ethics had nothing to do with it. "And I did try to tell you when I arrived."

"So you knew about her all this time?"

"No," I swiftly answered. "I didn't know until a few weeks ago, and if my memory serves me right, you didn't mention her to me either."

Esme turned away, and finally glanced down. "I told you my reasons, but you knew her and didn't think that it was pertinent to tell me?"

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, and Bella never mentioned you to me at all. I only realized the connection after I received that phone call from Edward. I was hoping that you would tell me once you were ready, and you did."

"Well, Bella wouldn't mention me, would she? As I told you earlier, she loathes me because of my son's incessant need to traipse after his mother. I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's my fault."

I took a few steps towards her, speaking softly so that I wouldn't cause any more upset. "It's not your fault. I mean, who would have thought that this could even be possible? I had a hard time with it in the beginning, but I knew you would tell me sooner or later."

"That day in your office when you had the panic attack…that was about Bella, wasn't it?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Yes, and no. I was just shocked, that's all."

"You must have thought me a fool, and a lying one at that. No wonder you didn't want to come to dinner tonight. Who would ever want to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't tell their partner the truth? Not me, that's for sure."

The words hit home, punching me in the gut like a wrecking ball smashing through a concrete office building. How was I going to tell her the rest of the truth if that was the way she felt? This little secret was nothing compared to the layers of sinful lies I'd been spewing for the past three months. I'd even had a hand job in her own home not more than two hours ago while she was busy preparing Thanksgiving dinner. How do you tell someone something like that when they meant the world to you? Esme was a saint compared to me.

"I don't think that you're a liar or a fool. In fact, I'm glad that this has come out. I don't want to keep secrets from you," I exclaimed as I reached for her hand. "It was just a miscommunication."

"There's more," she whimpered, moving away. "Bella was the one that insisted I go to see you in the first place. We had lunch right after I met you in the park. She thought that if I could find someone else to spend time with that Edward would be at home more often. I had no idea that she was a patient of yours. I feel played."

That made two of us. Bella had sent Esme to see me? But why on earth would she do that when she was hell bent on keeping me all to herself? It suddenly dawned on me that Bella's apartment wasn't anywhere close to the grocery store that I shopped at. She had been with Esme that day, and that's why she was in the area. What I didn't understand was why she had told Esme one thing, and then seduced me the very same day.

"I'm sure she didn't mean to set you up," I calmly replied. I didn't know what else to say.

"Yes, well, I will be giving her a piece of my mind in the near future. I'm really sorry that I wasn't honest about all of this."

I highly doubted that; Esme was too kind to those around her, even when they deserved some punishment. I could only hope that she would take it easy on me when I told her the complete truth. I knew this was my chance to do that, but I couldn't bring myself to upset her more than she already was.

"Please don't apologize." I stepped around the breakfast nook, and smoothed the hair away from her face. "You're not the only one who feels betrayed. I wish she would have mentioned something to me as well. It's not your fault."

"She hates me, Carlisle."

"I'm starting to see that. Maybe things will get better after they are married."

"There's something wrong with her," she muttered against my shirt. "Edward is always telling me how wonderful she is, and then she goes and sets us up like this. I don't understand her at all."

"What the FUCK is going on in here?" Edward was standing in the doorway, his nostrils flaring, and his sharp eyes were focused solely on me.

Esme was the first one to break our embrace, jumping away from my arms, completely startled. I just stood my ground, unwilling to let this overprotective, adolescent boy dampen his mother's spirits any further.

"I was just upset. Doctor Cullen did nothing wrong." Esme ran her hands down the front of her brown dress, straightening the fabric.

"Yeah, and Edward is the President, and I'm Mary Fucking Poppins. Tell us another one," Bella grinned, appearing at Edward's side.

I'd had enough of this nonsense from Miss Swan. "Why must you always put Esme down? And you…" I paused, turning to glare at Edward. "Why do you _let_ her talk to your mother that way?"

"Carlisle, please, it's okay," Esme feebly interjected.

"No, it's_ not_ okay." I crossed the room in three strides, towering over both Edward and Bella with a sneer fixed firmly in place. I knew that what I was about to do would probably lead to my own demise, but I had to defend my love. "Bella lied to you, Edward. She has been a patient of mine since January, and she was the one who sent your mother to see me."

All the color drained from Bella's face, leaving her skin blanched and awkward looking. There was something in her eyes that resembled fear, but I didn't care. She'd purposely brought Esme into my life, and had been manipulating the two of us ever since. To what extent, I didn't have a clue. I suspected that I was about to find out.

"Bella, is this true?" Edward asked. His words were hushed, almost monotone, but his eyes never left mine.

"Absolutely not," Bella gasped.

"Liar," I snarled. "Is there no end to your lies?"

"MY lies?" Bella gave me a little shove, but I didn't move, although I wanted to. I knew that everything I held dear was about to come crashing down around me. "You're one to talk about lies."

"Carlisle has already confessed to knowing you prior to accepting me as his patient, so you are out of luck there." Esme had reached my side, finding the strength to stand up to Bella. I couldn't help but smile as she took my hand. "And as for any other secrets, here's one for you…we are in love."

The last thing that I saw before everything went black was Edward's fist coming straight at me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Family drama on a holiday? Why yes, yes I think so. I couldn't let the holiday slip by without a little something ;)**

**A big thanks to my beta hmmille and another for all the reviews and messages. Next update will be sometime this week. A teaser will be posted on twitter under the fictionators and Twi Network Mon/Tues. xx**


	16. Chapter 16: Blind Obsession

**Chapter Sixteen—Blind Obsession**

My head was pounding as I tried to sit up in bed. I had no recollection of how I'd gotten here, but the familiar scent of Esme's perfume lingered on the blue sheets that were tucked around me, giving me a sense of comfort. Although there was no light filtering through the parted curtains, it was obvious to me that I was not at home. It didn't matter anyway—my vision was thoroughly blurred, and I had to shut my eyes to still the overwhelming sense of dizziness filling my body.

"Easy does it," a soft voice echoed in my ear.

"What did you give me?" I asked, knowing that my condition must have been medically induced. A slight punch to the face wouldn't have caused the extreme tipsy sensation.

"You said it was all right when we asked." The voice was becoming clearer, but I still couldn't tell who it was. From the scent swirling around me, I assumed it was Esme. "You took a nasty fall, so we gave you a Valium."

I let out a heavy sigh. "That explains it."

"You need your rest."

"I don't want to rest," I said hoarsely. My throat felt raw and irritated. "Are you all right? Where's Edward?"

I felt a pair of lips brush against my temple. "Edward is off sulking, and I'm just worried about you."

"I'm sorry that I caused so much trouble."

"None of that," she shushed. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Her hands moved through my hair, easing me back onto the mattress. I had to admit that laying down calmed my aching head. "You're so good to me."

"It's my job to take care of your needs. I would have thought that you'd know that by now."

I tried to smile, but I couldn't push through the seasick feeling infiltrating my head. Instead, I just laid there with a half-assed smirk on my face while I felt her body straddle mine.

"What are you doing?" I asked, though the words left my lips like a groan. This was entirely too erotic for me to handle. Was I really being mounted, or was it just a dream?

"Taking care of what we started earlier."

"In the kitchen?"

There was no answer; my question was silenced with a hard stroke of my cock. As if acting on instinct, I arched my back and gripped the sheets. "Don't stop."

"I wasn't planning on it," she laughed, though the slight giggle sounded off to me.

Maybe it was just my delirious state, or the fact that I'd been through so much today that was driving my arousal, but I wanted to release all the tension flooding my body. There was only one problem. "What if someone walks in?"

My pants were slid down to my ankles as she whispered back to me. "I locked the door."

A band of latex wrapped around my length, and suddenly, I was engulfed by the warm, inviting feel of her body indulging in the pleasure that my thick shaft brought to her. I still couldn't see very well, but it made no difference to me. Just the immense euphoria of the moment was overpowering any sickness that I had been feeling previously.

I reached up in search of her breasts, missing my target completely. All I could see as I opened my eyes was the silhouette of a gorgeous, naked woman riding my cock as if her life depended on it.

"Fuck, you feel so good!" she exclaimed. I'd never heard her curse before, but the sound of Esme swearing like that made all of my primal urges burst to the surface.

"Harder…make me come," I instructed.

She moved with an obedient force, just grinding on top of me faster and harder. I was starting to be able to see things a little clearer now, probably from the sheer bliss invading my rock hard center. I'd thought that there was no light in the room earlier, yet as I squinted through the apparent darkness, I caught a ray of moonlight casting an odd glow on her face. I couldn't be sure—not with the valium still on board—but she seemed different to me somehow.

"_God_, I can't stop fucking you. This is so much better than the night I left you that note."

"What note?" I moaned as I gripped her hips and thrust up into her tight hole.

"The one I left you after the first time we had sex."

I stopped moving. Something was wrong. Even the immeasurable pleasure felt askew. Esme left me that note after she'd spent the night at my house. I'd slipped it into my drawer to save it as a memento of things to come. We hadn't had sex that evening. Had Esme left me a note that I was unaware of?

"You didn't leave…"

Trailing off, I reached over to my left, feebly searching for the lamp that I could barely make out. Little noises of arousal filled the room, and I began to panic as I dragged the light closer. The constant bouncing—along with the tremendous need I had to explode from my tip—was making it hard to concentrate. The throbbing in my head quickened its pace with every swipe of my hand against the plastic knob. After several tries, the light flicked on.

"Oh my God!"

It wasn't my voice, nor was it the voice of the woman on top of me. The sound had traveled from Esme's lips as she stood in the doorway with tears in her eyes.

"Damn, I forgot you had a key," Bella sighed.

I turned my attention to Bella who was staring down at me with satisfaction written all over her face. The valium had almost worked its way through my system, and my vision had finally cleared enough for me to see properly.

This could not be happening. Had I really been that out of it that I couldn't tell Esme and Bella apart? I had no idea what Esme was thinking, but there was nothing but panic flooding me now. I had been caught with my pants down, literally. There was absolutely no way that I could talk myself out of this one. I had just lost the only woman I had ever truly loved.

"Get off of me," I growled under my breath. Bella just grinned.

Pushing her off, I scrambled to my feet, forgetting that I was practically butt naked with an erection the size of Texas. "This isn't what it looks like."

"It's exactly what it looks like," Bella laughed, leaning back on Esme's bed, oblivious to the fact that she had just ruined four lives.

"I'm so sorry. I…" Esme's words were lost to the cry that inched its way up her throat. She was gone before I could even attempt to explain, taking my entire world with her.

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><p><strong>AN: And the truth completely comes out...for the most part. I will be updating again Sunday or Monday because Edward is not a happy camper and needs to say his peace, and Bella is kicking me for not telling her side of the story yet. Thanks Hmmille for being the best beta anyone could ever have and also thanks to CarlislesWhore who has been been so supportive! xx**


	17. Chapter 17: An Unexpected Turn of Events

**Chapter Seventeen—An Unexpected Turn of Events**

The air was thick with a heavy cloud of gasoline and smog, choking off my disgruntled thoughts every time I dared to reach for a breath. Cars of all shapes and sizes skirted along the rain-slicked pavement, throwing splatters of chilled water against the tan slacks that now clung to my frozen legs as I inched towards my apartment building. My hands were shoved into the pockets of my wool coat, though it did little to help my circulation. I was bone cold, and I deserved every bit of misery that had crept its way into me since fleeing from Esme's home.

After parking my car in the usual spot a few hours ago, I'd taken off into the park to clear the fog from my mind. But it had been a wasted effort. All I could envision were the fragile crinkles at the corner of Esme's lips disappearing as she ran from the room, her wide eyes showing utter confusion and pain. She'd left the house after that, leaving me alone with Bella and Edward; the memory of that alone was terrifying in its own right.

"What did you do to her?" Edward had screamed, shoving me back into the kitchen counter.

The moment I'd felt the rigid marble tile graze my back, I'd flung myself forward, smacking into Edward with such a brutal force that I had even scared myself. "None of this would have happened if it weren't for you!"

That wasn't true; I was the problem here. If I hadn't let myself get so wrapped up in my own happiness, then perhaps I could have avoided hurting three innocent people. I no longer cared what happened to me. I wasn't worth forgiveness.

"Did you fuck my fiancée?" Edward's words were like razor blades, slicing through my skin and drawing out every ounce of energy that I had left.

"Yes," I'd answered flatly. There had been no point in lying anymore.

"How long?" he'd growled before kneeing me in the ribs and rolling us over. "How the fuck long?"

Bella had stepped forward then. Her eyes had been filled with tears that I couldn't comprehend. She had deceived us all, and yet there she was practically hysterical as Edward pinned me to the kitchen floor. "Edward, stop it! It's my fault."

I'd been brought up short by her statement. For the first time since I'd known her, she had actually taken responsibility for her own actions. I'd happened to catch her eyes at that point. They were red, swollen, and so perfectly beautiful even in their sadness that I couldn't help but sigh. She had tricked me—something that was still eating its way through me—yet I had felt pity for her. She had kept so much from me, even when our relationship was purely professional. There were still mysteries there that needed to be unraveled.

"You selfish bitch," Edward had spat out as he whipped his head around to glare in her direction. "I thought that we'd moved past this!"

I didn't understand what he'd meant, but I really hadn't been in much of a position to ask.

"I—I'm so sorry!" Bella had then run from the room in tears, clutching her body as if she was trying to keep her heart from dropping clean out of her chest.

"Don't you DARE talk to her like that," I'd snapped. Edward didn't hesitate. With three jagged movements, he brought his fist down on my right cheek, and then took off after his fiancée.

I came to a stop on the corner a few blocks away from my apartment, willing the memory to slip from my conscious thoughts. Gripping the red, stone wall, I let out a muffled sob as the pain in my cheek began to throb again. I hadn't had a chance to look in the mirror, but I could already feel several large bruises growing under the surface of my skin.

I'd always imagined letting Edward pummel me into absolute nothingness if we ever met, so the disappointment I felt coursing through me now was unjustified. I should have been able to fight back—although I _had_ thrust myself into Edward at one point during the brawl—but I'd just laid there like a slug, taking everything he had to throw at me.

It wasn't so much the physical pain that was gnawing its way through me. The emotional toll that had been inflicted upon all parties involved was overwhelming, and I only had myself to blame. So many times I'd thought of ending it or coming clean to both of them, but I hadn't. I'd wanted it all, and it had cost me everything in return.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I pushed off from the wall and began the final journey towards home. It was well after midnight, though I had no idea of the actual time. My watch hadn't been on my person when I awoke to find Bella riding my cock. It had gotten cold somewhere between my walk from the park back to the city streets. I hadn't noticed until now. Bitter winds swept off the Pacific, swirling through the tall city skyline and bringing with it a hint of a possible snow storm on the horizon. It would be rare for Seattle, but stranger things have happened.

Up ahead, I could see a hunched figure draped in a black jacket leaning against the doorstep to my apartment building, obscured by the shadows protruding from the green awning that decorated the entrance. I wasn't in the mood for polite conversation, so I carefully stepped around the concealed visitor as I reached for my keys.

"Excuse me," a familiar voice said, adjusting their feet. I knew who it was without even having to venture a guess.

"Bella? Is that you?" I asked, leaning down to remove the fabric covering her head.

A mess of dark hair tumbled out from under the coat, spilling across her shoulders in a torrent of wet strands, all stuck together from the falling rain. Her face was as pale as the cement that she rested upon, brimming with absolute sadness and fear. I felt a pang of sympathy ripple through me before the onslaught of anger came, causing me to brush away the hair that slipped into her eyes. She glanced up at me with a frightened smile, but the moment I met her gaze, I broke the embrace.

"Don't be mad," she whispered. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she made a feeble attempt to reach for my hand.

I quickly jerked away from her touch. "You ruined my life."

"I can explain," she pleaded. It was hard not to bend to that voice, to her cries for an audience. "Please just give me a chance."

"You tricked me into sleeping with you!" I shouted.

"I know nothing I can say will—"

I cut her off. "You're right. There is nothing that you can do or say that will EVER make up for that."

"Please…" she whimpered, trailing off as she struggled to stand up.

"Go away, Bella. Go and fix your own relationships, and leave me alone!" I turned my back to her, and quickly slid the key into the lock on the front door, hoping that she would get the hint.

"Doctor Cull—" I braced for her to finish—to say the name that lit a fire in my groin and sent my heart racing—but I heard nothing except for a meager groan echoing under the green awning above us.

Her sudden silence alarmed me; I'd never known the girl to be anything other than chatty. Against my better judgment—I didn't want her to get the wrong idea—I spun around just in time to see Bella's knees give way, sending her body plummeting to the ground. With lightning fast reflexes, I rushed to her side and caught her head before it smacked into the cement steps.

"Bella," I urgently called out. Receiving no response, I laid her head on my lap and shook her shoulders. "Bella, can you hear me?"

She let out a raspy moan. "I don't feel well."

"I'm taking you to the hospital," I stated as I hoisted her up into my arms, being careful not to jostle her too much in case she had any injuries. An instant panic began to flood my chest. No matter what she had done to me, I just couldn't see her in pain. Part of me still loved her.

"No, please…" Her words were abruptly silenced with a sputtering cough.

"You need a doctor," I insisted.

"I don't want Edward to know."

It was the last thing she said to me before her body went slack in my arms.

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><p><strong>AN: I didn't get a chance to upload again over the weekend, my apologies. The drama never ends for Carlisle, though. Thanks hmmille for everything! Next update will be at the end of the week :)**


	18. Chapter 18: Desiderata

_Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Parts of this chapter taken from Desiderata by Max Ehrman and also Alice in Wonderland. That portion of the content remains the sole property of those authors. _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eighteen—Desiderata<strong>

_BPOV_

In the dream, I was falling, hurtling towards the earth at a rapid descent. Below me, a field of what looked like dried out corns stalks threatened to collide with my face—the razor sharp edges of the crop glistening in the afternoon sun like light refracting off of a dagger's blade. My body felt weightless as it continued to spiral out of control, twisting and turning in the air with no sense of direction, or understanding.

What would people say when they found my body? Would there be enough of me left over after the initial impact? Would they be kind to the bloody remnants left behind, or would I just end up as another mundane statistic in an equally boring textbook? Would anyone even care?

Suddenly, a massive creature appeared beside me, though I couldn't tell from which direction the golden bird had traveled. The wing span was so vast that it blocked out the sun completely, spreading its ornate feathers as far as the eye could see. A long, sleek beak with even more golden filigree embedded within it turned in my direction. Soulful eyes of the deepest shade of blue I'd ever seen looked upon me with great sorrow.

And still the ground rushed to meet me.

"The one who wishes to stop falling must first refuse to jump," the bird said with a deep, velvety texture to his voice. The voice was vaguely familiar to me—distant, rich, soothing, and definitely male.

"I didn't jump," I shouted. "Someone pushed me!"

"Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness," the animal replied.

"I'm not afraid," I lied as I scrunched my eyes closed.

I was falling…

Just falling out of the sky…

"Whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should," he answered.

I was instantly reminded of the book _Alice in Wonderland_, and the strange creatures that rested within the pages, spouting off limericks and riddles of the most frustrating sort. One in particular sprang to mind now: _How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile on every golden scale. How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in with gently smiling jaws._

"What an odd thing to say," I exclaimed.

"Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story." His beak seemed to curve upwards as he spoke as if the animal understood the headache that his words were causing.

"Do you have any more riddles for me, or can I fall in peace?" I asked, folding my arms as I gazed across the blue sky towards the brilliant, soaring bird.

"Bella, are you all right?"

I could see its large, yellow mouth opening and closing with ease. The words that fluttered past my ears prickled the most sensitive part of my hearing, causing me to squint into the sunlight and draw away from the bird. "What?"

"Bella…Bella…"

Darkness.

* * *

><p><em>CPOV<em>

"Bella…Bella, you're having a nightmare," I mumbled for the tenth time in as many minutes. She was slowly starting to stir, but the intense look of concentration on her face had me worried for some reason. Placing my book on the coffee table, I slipped from her side, leaving her to wake up without interference.

My mother used to say that idle hands were the Devil's playground. My hands had certainly not been idle, and yet I'd still ended up in the same predicament. I was most definitely to blame for the majority of secret transgressions that faced us all now, but the woman who was curled up on my couch had been the mastermind.

Against every rational thought and medical reasoning in my mind, I'd complied with Bella's wishes. I had allowed her to stay in my apartment while she recovered from the intense shock of yesterday afternoon. From what I had gathered before she slipped into another unconscious state, Edward had caught up with her at the bus station, and had called off their engagement. She knew that she deserved to be hated, but I hadn't been able to force myself to agree with her, even though she had played me like a fiddle. We were outcasts at the moment—two people that were in serious need of a discussion, and only had each other to lean on.

"Here, drink this," I said, returning to the living room and handing her a mixture of warm milk and brandy—something my mother used to give to me when I was younger. Bella opened her eyes for the first time in hours, glancing to me through thin slits that were red around the edges. The rays of morning sunlight that filtered through the curtains caused her to wince slightly as she reached forward.

She took the mug, closing her trembling fingers around the ceramic cup, hugging it close to her chest. The grey, microfleece blanket that covered her slipped down slightly, revealing my pinstriped work shirt that I'd insisted she change into while I washed and dried her drenched clothes. If I hadn't found her when I did, she would have gone into a hypothermic state.

"Thank you," she mumbled, averting her eyes as she took a sip.

The pale outlines of her face flushed slightly as the warmth of the drink spread throughout her cheeks. At least she didn't look like she was about to pass out anymore. That was the last thing I needed—having to explain to her family why she'd fainted in my apartment. I didn't think that my stomach could take any more stress.

"I think we need to talk about what's been going on," I stated, taking a seat on the edge of the coffee table directly in front of her.

"I know," she sighed. "Where do you want me to start?"

"From the beginning would be nice." I cracked a small smile for her benefit. Despite what had transpired between us, I wasn't going to be cruel. It was time to make amends, not to upset the situation further. She was alone, much like myself, and we both needed the support.

"It's true that I don't like Esme, but not for the reasons you think," Bella mumbled as she took another sip of her drink. "I put myself into therapy because Edward had been cheating on me with Esme's neighbor, Rosalie Hale. I felt like I wasn't good enough for him, and I didn't want him to know that I needed help. He was so upset about what he'd done. If he knew that I couldn't move past things, he would blame himself. He's not a monster. He's only human."

"Edward cheated on you? You never told me that in any of our sessions," I answered, feeling a sharp twinge of pity crack through my heart. She'd been played before.

"When I saw you for the first time, I fell for you. I thought that if I told you about Edward that you'd look at me like I was damaged goods, and you would never lift a finger to touch me. I guess I was out for revenge. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, they say. When I realized that you wanted me in return, it opened up a whole new chapter of my life, and I couldn't let it go."

I stared at her for a moment, mulling her words over in my mind. I understood now that those small glimpses of shyness that I'd witnessed from her had to do with her self-esteem—the feeling that she was below me, subservient to the point of pain, and not worth much. It was why she had backed down on occasion, and I had no doubt that it also fueled her need for control. When your heart has been compromised, you would do anything to keep love in your life. I could sympathize with that.

"Why did you tell Esme to come and see me?" I asked, needing to know the real reason.

"I saw you two in the park that day, and after you left, I followed Esme. We went out to lunch, and we ended up talking about what happened with Edward. You see, Edward used his mother as an excuse to cheat on me with Rosalie, so every time he goes over to his mom's house it's like a slap in the face. Esme allowed him to come and go as he pleased all because she wanted him to be happy. She knew about it and did nothing to stop him. I thought that if I gave Esme someone else to occupy her time that she would stop trying to make up for her indiscretion. She feels bad about what she did, and it was wearing on my nerves until she started seeing you."

Esme had known about Edward's affair and had willingly played the part of his accomplice? My brows wrinkled in confusion and surprise. "I don't understand why you kept trying to sleep with me if you wanted Esme to be off of your back."

"Once she agreed, I realized that I didn't want that anymore. I followed you to the grocery store, and seduced you because I couldn't handle sharing you. The minute I suggested she speak to you, I regretted it. I thought that if I could get to you before she did, then it wouldn't matter. In my mind, you were with me first. I guess I never thought that she would even entertain the idea of dating you."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I groaned, brushing my hands down my face.

"Esme would tell us about how kind you were in the sessions, and on the side, she would mention to me about your relationship. I guess she needed someone to confide in. It hurt my heart, Carlisle. I've always been in love with you." She sucked in a deep breath as I continued to gaze at her in disbelief. Bella loved me? She'd never shown me anything remotely close to that. It had always seemed like just sex to me, at least that was the impression I had received. "I couldn't give you up, so I started to manipulate things. I didn't know what else to do. It became a daily struggle for me, and I was constantly fighting my heart. It was like watching Edward cheating on me all over again. Can you forgive me?"

"Before we dive into forgiveness, I think you had better explain what you've done a bit more. We're in quite the mess at the moment," I replied, inching forward slightly.

"Edward goes to his mom's house every morning even though I've asked him not to. I kept feeling like he was just going over there to see Rosalie, so I would tell him that I was out with Jessica when really I was with you. I was so sad, and then when you stopped returning my phone calls, I began to realize that I was losing you to the one person that had covered up Edward's fucking affair. After that, I just lost it. Are you in love with her?"

I nodded, unable to stop myself. "Yes, but I think on some level, I love you as well."

"I thought as much," she sobbed. Tears swelled in her tired eyes, spilling down her cheeks as she continued. "I do love Edward, but there is a part of me that will always belong to you. After our fight, I sat down and thought about leaving Edward for you. When I found myself unable to do so, I knew I had to let you go. Edward is a good man, Carlisle, even though he cheated on me. I told him that everything was fine, but I was dying inside every time he went to see Esme. I wanted to feel like I belonged to someone, and you gave that to me. With you, I was happy for once."

"Love makes people do odd things," I smiled.

It was the truth. Bella had lied and manipulated so many people all in the name of love. I couldn't fault her for that because I had done the same. We were both in love with two people at the same time, and although it was wrong, I could understand the reason for her deception.

"Like vomit after sex?" Her lips curved upwards slightly as she spoke. "You don't think that went unnoticed by me, did you?"

I felt my cheeks flush, growing warm as she recounted the events of our latest sexual encounter. I'd forgotten about the after effect she'd had on me. "You have to understand that I had committed myself to Esme at that point. All the lies were giving me an ulcer. I didn't think that you wanted me the way I needed you."

"That's not the problem," she quickly responded. "I do love you, but when I came to your house that day, I'd just fought with Edward over him agreeing to have breakfast with Rosalie and Esme. I wanted to feel loved, and I used you. I'm so sorry."

"I used you too." Her eyes widened with my confession. "I was distraught over Esme, and also because you hadn't called me in weeks. I didn't know that you were aware of Esme. Is Edward still seeing Rosalie?"

She shook her head. "No, but Mrs. Hale asked Esme to watch their house while she was out of town, and then Esme invited Rosalie over for breakfast. I just couldn't believe that she would do that knowing how it would hurt me. Edward willingly went along with it."

I sighed; the sound of my heavy release caused Bella to glance up, finally locking eyes with me. "It was wrong of Edward to do that."

"He didn't know until he was there, and he would do anything to make Esme happy. She is always trying to cater to everyone else's needs. I don't really hate her, I just wish that she could see what it's doing to me. She's doing it on purpose, you know."

Bella had a point; Esme was a kind soul who tried to make everyone around her feel welcome. Perhaps she just hadn't seen the effect that it was having on her future daughter-in-law. Edward, on the other hand, should have known better. However, I doubted that Esme was doing anything on purpose.

"I understand why you did these things, but I can't condone them. I hope you know that," I stated, reaching forward to take her hand. "But I am also sorry for not telling you about what I was doing with Esme."

She weaved her fingers through mine, giving me a gentle squeeze. "I know you are, but you don't have to apologize to me. It took me a while to figure out that I was being so manipulative. I went through your drawers the last time I was here. I was freaking out that Esme had her claws into you as well, and when I found her note, I put two and two together. I thought that I had finally pushed you out of my mind until you showed up at Thanksgiving. I knew that you were coming, and it scared me to death. When Esme asked me to watch over you after you got smacked, I just went insane. You'd just confessed to being in love, told everyone my secret about going to therapy, and I knew then that I'd lost you already. I thought that if I could just have you one last time, everything else would be all right. Maybe subconsciously, I was trying to hurt Esme like she had hurt me. It was wrong, and I am sorry."

I moved to the couch and threw my arm around her shoulders, pulling her tight against me. The book that I had been reading fell to the ground with a thud. Quiet sobs erupted from her mouth as she eagerly fell into my embrace. "I was not honest with you either, and for that I am also sorry. It_ was_ wrong of you to trick me though, Bella. We have a lot to make up for here."

"What are we going to do?" she whimpered, burying her face into my chest. I just tightened my hold on her, and gently rocked her body to soothe away her upset.

Regardless of how we had wronged one another—Bella more so than anyone else—I could see the girl that I had fallen in love with again. She had suffered so much in her short life. Perhaps we had found each other for a reason. "I don't know, Bella, but somehow, we have to make this right. What do _you_ want?"

"I'm sorry, Carlisle, but I love Edward," she mumbled against my sweater. "I can't imagine my life without him. I hope you can understand that."

Rejection flooded my mind instantly, sweeping through the rest of my body with a force unlike anything I had ever felt before. My limbs felt weak—almost like the Jello Jigglers that I used to eat when I was a child—flopping against Bella's torso, unable to hold on. I watched helplessly as every intimate moment that had been shared between us crept to the surface of my vision, taunting me with the touch of her hand, the smell of her arousal.

It was clear to me now that I would never receive her affection again. As much as the realization pained me, it was also a blessing. I wanted Bella to be happy, and if that meant surrendering to Edward, then I would. There was nothing in this world that I wouldn't do if it meant that she would be happy. Perhaps one day, I would find that same sense of peace.

"I just want you to be happy," I answered truthfully.

A smile suddenly appeared on my face as Bella leaned down and picked up the book from the floor. She would always be my Bella. A part of her would always love me. She would think of me from time to time, I knew that, and I would carry her memory with me forever. But this was her life to live, and I needed to make sure that I did everything that I could possibly do to set things right for her.

"What's this?" she asked, passing me the worn, leather bound book.

"It's a short collection of poetry and sonnets that I have gathered over the years," I answered, pulling her back into my arms. There was nothing sexual about the affection I was showering her with now. Somewhere during our discussion, my attention had shifted from lust to outright protectiveness. I wanted to give Bella hope for her future, and cradle her until she was ready to face the truth.

"Read to me?" She glanced up with a shy smile—one that I couldn't refuse.

Sooner or later, we would have to leave this place, but for now, I was content to read to her.

"This is called Desiderata, by Max Erhmann. It's about living your life to the fullest," I whispered against her temple as I opened the page to one of my favorite pieces; the same one that I had been reading to Bella as she lay fast asleep in my arms.

"_Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,  
>and remember what peace there may be in silence.<br>As far as possible, without surrender,  
>be on good terms with all persons.<br>Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,  
>even to the dull and ignorant;<br>they too have their story._

_Avoid loud and aggressive persons;  
>they are vexatious to the spirit.<br>If you compare yourself with others,  
>you may become vain or bitter,<br>for always there will be  
>greater and lesser persons than yourself.<em>

_Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.  
>Keep interested in your own career<br>however humble;  
>it is a real possession in the<br>changing fortunes of time._

_Exercise caution in your business affairs,  
>for the world is full of trickery.<br>But let this not blind you  
>to what virtue there is;<br>many persons strive for high ideals,  
>and everywhere life is full of heroism.<em>

_Be yourself.  
>Especially do not feign affection.<br>Neither be cynical about love,  
>for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,<br>it is as perennial as the grass._

_Take kindly the counsel of the years,  
>gracefully surrendering the things of youth.<br>Nurture strength of spirit  
>to shield you in sudden misfortune.<br>But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.  
>Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.<em>

_Beyond a wholesome discipline,  
>be gentle with yourself.<br>You are a child of the universe  
>no less than the trees and the stars;<br>you have a right to be here._

_And whether or not it is clear to you,  
>no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.<br>Therefore, be at peace with God,  
>whatever you conceive Him to be.<br>And whatever your labors and aspirations,  
>in the noisy confusion of life,<br>keep peace in your soul.  
>With all its sham,<br>drudgery, and broken dreams,  
>it is still a beautiful world.<br>Be cheerful.  
>Strive to be happy."<em>

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><p><strong>AN: I had to give Bella a little voice, and it won't be the last time that we hear from her. There's only a few chapters left, but at least the truth has come out for the most part and Bella is finally discussing why she's been acting the way she has. A few more twists are coming up in the next couple chapters. I hope you like it. Thanks hmmille as always for being an amazing beta and sound board.**


	19. Chapter 19: Love Lost, Love Found

**Chapter Nineteen—Love Lost, Love Found**

Taking Bella back home had been a struggle. After our reading session, she'd continued to drag her feet all morning—falling back to sleep, showering by herself for over an hour, nibbling on her lunch as if she couldn't even stomach the turkey sandwich. I had wanted her to confront Edward before he went to work, but by the time we had left my apartment, the moon had replaced the orange glow of the sunset, and a blanket of stars enveloped the evening sky.

"Well, at least you never unpacked," I joked as we both hesitantly stepped over the threshold into Bella's untidy apartment.

"I did that on purpose," she answered, her voice breaking on the last word. "I guess I didn't see the point if Edward was just going to leave me again."

Shutting the door behind me, I gathered her into my arms and placed a tender kiss on the top of her head. "You deserve better than that."

"No, I don't," she snapped, pulling away. "I've lied to everyone I care about. I don't deserve to be happy."

I stood there watching her as she weaved her way through stacks of torn boxes that were splitting at the seams from the bulk of the weight inside. I hadn't stepped foot inside this place for quite some time, but nothing had physically changed except for a mass of dishes resting dangerously on the edge of the sink.

There was something so fragile about the way she moved precariously through the aisles of clutter that made me wonder if she would ever be able to come to terms with what she'd done. Every cautious sway of her hips seemed to display her reluctance to even walk. She was losing herself, and I couldn't allow that to happen.

"You are worthy of love," I stated truthfully as I followed her into the bedroom. "You forgave Edward for his indiscretion. If he loves you, he will do the same. You can't live your life always thinking the worst of people. You need to trust him if this is going to work."

"Well, right now I am not even supposed to be in the house. He told me it was over," she cried, peeling off her shirt right in front of me. I quickly turned away as she changed clothes, not wanting to make it seem like I was willing to start up our flirtatious behavior when we were in the middle of complete chaos. We had already decided to call it quits, and I was doing all right with how things were progressing. "Can I stay with you for a few days?"

"I don't think that would be very wise," I whispered, suddenly catching sight of her undressing in the mirror. Her breasts shimmered under the artificial lighting, causing a flutter in my groin. No matter how hard I tried, I could not look away. My hands slid to my crotch, and I carefully pressed down on my cock to still the sensation. Now was not the time to be aroused.

"I don't have anywhere else to go," she sobbed again. I saw her half-naked body fall to the bed as tears began to stream down her face. "My dad lives about five hours from here, and my mom moved to Florida. I don't have the money to live on my own at the moment, let alone travel."

I couldn't bear to see her this way—thoroughly upset and without boundaries. She didn't even have the strength to get dressed. As I drew in a large breath, I turned to face her, reaching the bed in two long strides. My eyes traveled over her perky breasts for a moment before I cleared my throat. Hunched over on the edge of the mattress, Bella didn't even look up. Her black bra dangled delicately from her fingertips as she simply stared off into space.

I sat down beside her and ran my thumb along her cheekbone. "You can stay with me for a few days, all right?"

Without warning, she leaned over and kissed me on the mouth. I should have pushed her away, but I didn't. There was something so appealing about the kiss. It wasn't forced, rabid, or primal in any way like it had been in the past. It was completely different than what I was used to with Bella. I could taste her tears on my tongue, and I could feel the immense sadness that she possessed flowing into me in waves of unimaginable pain.

I'd never experienced this type of emotion from Bella before. All I could do was hold her in my arms to ease away her worries, caressing the alabaster skin along her shoulders with the tips of my fingers to reassure her that everything would be okay from this point on—that she really was worth loving. It was such an overwhelming sensation that I found myself momentarily stunned by how good it felt to kiss this woman with no secrets in the way.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that," she hesitantly spoke, pulling away slightly. Her lips were still within reaching distance, and I could feel her sweet breath drifting against my mouth.

"No need for apologies," I whispered, slowly licking my lips. I had wanted her untainted affection so badly in the past. Cupping her face in my hands, I reached forward and lovingly pressed my lips to hers for a brief moment just to reinforce my words. "Get dressed before someone thinks I'm taking advantage of you in this state."

"You're a good man, Carlisle." She bent down, searching under the bed for an overnight bag as I ran my fingers through her hair, pulling the dark tresses out of her face so she could see better.

A few moments later, Bella reappeared with a small suitcase, and quickly shoved some clothes into the green bag. Forgoing the bra all together, she slipped a black camisole over her chest, and wriggled into a pair of ripped blue jeans. "I just need to grab my jacket."

I nodded and followed her through the maze of boxes towards the front door in silence, just admiring how utterly beautiful and kind this woman really was. She may have lied to me in the past, but the kiss that we had shared only moments ago had been pure, and I suddenly found myself momentarily bewildered by her grace.

She was a strong woman who had given me my life back. She had brought out a side of me that had been dormant for so long. I knew what it was like to love with reckless abandon, and I understood now what it was that she couldn't give up—true love.

She loved Edward in an entirely different way than she loved me. I felt exactly the same about Esme. I actually owed Bella a debt of gratitude for making me see the light, even if she hadn't gone about things in the proper manner.

"Okay, I'm ready," she sighed out, taking one last look around the disheveled apartment.

I took her hand and smiled as best as I could. We would figure a way out of this mess together. There was no other alternative.

The front door swung open with ease as we both took a step to leave. I heard Bella's gasp before I saw the person blocking our escape. Edward Platt stood at the top of the stairs, staring at us in disgust—his nostrils flaring like a bull about to charge.

"I should have known that you would run back to _him_," he snarled with nothing but contempt in his voice. I thought that he was supposed to be at work.

"It's not what it looks like!" Bella screeched, ripping her hand away from me. "I swear it!"

"She speaks the truth. I only gave her a lift. Bella had nowhere else to go," I calmly interjected.

My heart felt like it was about to beat right out of my chest, but I didn't want to add any more fuel to the fire at this point. Just seeing Edward standing there with his hands on his hips made thoughts of Esme come rushing into my mind—how she was feeling, if she was crying, and how on earth I was going to make amends. Although I could handle myself, I was surprisingly afraid of Edward. I didn't really want to fight with him again.

"You bastard! How dare you think that you have even the slightest right to talk to me," Edward barked, spitting in my direction. I dodged out of the way just in the nick of time, and the phlegm landed on the side of a box marked for storage.

"Did you just spit at him?" Bella roared. Edward looked startled. I could only venture a guess that he wasn't used to her being so forward. This was a new Bella now—she knew what she wanted, and she wasn't going to back down.

"Of course, take his side. I'm your fiancée! Heaven forbid you ever agree with me!" Edward retorted, snapping his head towards her.

"You broke up with me, remember?" Bella sneered.

"What did you think was going to happen?"

"Maybe that we would talk it through," she clipped back.

"I see. You do know that she has manipulated you since day one, right?" Edward asked, turning his sights on me. "My mother told me everything—how Bella forced her to go to therapy, and how Bella knew that she'd been seeing you all along outside the realm of professional etiquette. She's not worth your assistance."

"I didn't _force_ her," Bella said with surprise lacing her voice. I saw a brief flash of pain course across her face. "I just said it would be a good idea."

"But you knew that she was in love with him! You've been cheating on me for months, haven't you?" Edward yelled.

"Yes, but I was so lonely, and you were never at home. You were always out with Esme and Rosalie! How could you do that to me after everything we've been through?"

"My mom asked me to make up with her. She has to live next door to Rosalie. How do you think she felt, always having to tread lightly around her family?" Edward spat back.

"You have such an Oedipus Complex, you know that?" Bella grumbled. "She's your MOTHER, not your fucking wife!"

"You don't know what my mother has been through. You didn't watch it unfold! She needs protecting. She needs ME."

I held up my hand to stop their banter, knowing that Bella's heart was being crushed with every word that he spoke. "Bella has confessed everything, and I think that you two should sit down and talk. You are not innocent in all of this, Edward. Do you know how much it hurt Bella to watch you continue to see Rosalie after your betrayal, and that Esme helped you?" Edward's face crumpled as I continued. "No, how could you. The only thing that you have ever cared about is your own feelings. You stand there and judge her for her actions, which yes, they were appalling, but aren't you guilty of the same thing?"

I heard Bella whimper softly. Edward's eyes fluttered to her immediately. "I'm sorry, Bella," he said, taking a step closer. "I didn't know that it was upsetting you so much."

"Yes you did." She began to cry; tiny drops trickled down her blanched cheeks. "I asked you not to go, but you still went. I have to live with what you did to me, and now you will have to live with what I've done in return. I won't ask for forgiveness, but I do ask that you at least try to understand that I need help. I'm going to continue seeing Doctor Cullen for therapy, if he will allow it."

"Maybe we should both go to therapy," Edward stated, taking a hold of Bella's hands. He hugged them close to his chest, seemingly unwilling to let go which caused my heart to urgently protest for some ungodly reason. "I don't want to lose you."

"You already did," Bella answered bitterly, surprising me as she tore herself free from her ex.

"You can't mean that," Edward groaned. "I'm sorry for breaking up with you. I was upset, and rightfully so. Please, can we work through this together? I love you, Bella."

"Bella, be reasonable," I urged. This was what she wanted—Edward back in her arms.

"I'm sorry," she wept. "I'm just upset. Can we talk about this later? There is something I need to do first."

"What could be more important than this?" Edward asked, his brows shooting up. I nodded in agreement, much to his dismay.

"I have to fix something," she answered, wiping her tears on the sleeve of her jacket.

"Whatever," Edward growled. "Just go."

Without a word, Bella turned on her heel, caught my hand at the last moment and tugged me through the open doorway. I heard no sounds following us down the stairs, and in the heat of the moment, I couldn't even fathom what she was up to now.

"What are you doing?" I gasped as she fled the building with me in tow.

"What I should have done the very first moment I realized that you loved me," she answered, staring straight ahead. "I'm going to confront the person who caused all this mess in the first place, and you're coming with me."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading the story. There are three chapters left and an epilogue. I wanted to show that even though things are a mess, love will always conquer all. It may not come in the form that we expect, but the actions we put out there into the world will always have consequences. It's what we do with the decisions that we make that defines who we really are. Carlisle has always been a gentle, compassionate individual with the capacity to forgive those who do wrong. This is just an amplification of his good nature. You have probably already guessed or noticed the direction in which this is heading. I know that I can't please everyone, but in my mind, this is what I see happening. I have a little cameo from Bella coming up as well as the ending which I hope helps to conclude the story in a positive manner. Thanks so much for hmmille for sticking with me through everything, and for being the greatest beta anyone could ever wish for. :)**


	20. Chapter 20: I Choose You

**Chapter Twenty—I Choose You**

By the time we reached Esme's townhouse, I was in a complete state of panic. The afternoon sun had dipped behind the buildings, casting ominous shadows along the path that led to the front door. Bella's hand was wrapped around mine so tightly that I had lost all feeling in my fingertips somewhere between Third and Ninth Street. I could tell that she was just as nervous about speaking with my other lover as I was, but this had been her idea from the start and she had no intentions of changing her mind.

A soft melody—something classical that I couldn't put my finger on—drifted harmoniously through a partially open window upstairs. I had no idea as to why Esme would leave a window open in the middle of winter, but then again, I had received quite a few tidbits of information about Miss Evenson lately that I hadn't been aware of previously. Although I couldn't fault Esme for wanting to see her son happy, I felt strangely annoyed that she would allow Edward to openly cheat on Bella in her own home. That was one thing that I needed to understand.

Esme had always recounted her relationship with Edward to be one of overprotectiveness, when in all actuality she was fueling his desire to stay by her side. I wondered for a moment about the chain of events that had led us to this point in time—if Esme hadn't been so understanding about Rosalie Hale and her son, would this have happened in the first place? Would Bella and I be standing outside of Esme's home, fingers entwined, and scared out of our minds? And more importantly, did Esme really love me? With all the lies going around at the current time, there was no way for me to be sure. I desperately hoped that she did.

"Come on," Bella begrudgingly said as she pulled me towards the front door.

"And what are we going to say exactly?" I asked, coming to a stop on the steps. Memories of Thanksgiving dinner pummeled into me, causing me to momentarily gasp for air—the smell of Esme's home as she prepared the meal, the game of crotch footsy with Bella under the table, our talk in the kitchen along with Esme's confession that we were in love, and finally the display of drugged up sex that Bella had initiated during my confusion. It was alarmingly painful to relive the events, sending my heart into a frantic rhythm.

"I've been keeping this in for so long," she sighed. "Esme and I need to have it out with one another, and I think you do as well. I have to put this right for the both of you, and if Esme knows what's good for her, she will listen."

"You're starting to sound like me," I smiled.

Bella was right, of course. I just didn't want to be alone in a room with the two of them. I'd already inflicted so much pain on my girls. The thought of creating more drama so soon after our latest breakup was unsettling. How could I even look Esme in the eyes? There were too many things swirling through my mind to even allow myself a chance to concentrate before Bella was practically knocking down the front door.

"Just a minute!" I heard Esme chime out. A few seconds later, the door cracked open just a smidge, making my stomach twist with a queasy, sour feeling. Placing my hand on the apparent ulcer that I must be suffering from, I locked eyes with Esme.

Her face looked thinned—almost grey in appearance—with two dark circles decorating the space beneath her tired eyes. She looked like she was in desperate need of a rest. Her baggy clothes hung limply around her slender body, and there was some kind of a stain on the right pant leg—dark, and probably too set in to be cleaned by now. It looked as though Esme had fallen into a deep depression, and had been unable to even perform the slightest tasks. Then again, maybe I was reading into things too much.

I could a feel a lump building in my throat, sealing off my voice. I just wanted to hold her in my arms, and tell her that everything was going to be all right. But I couldn't. No sounds traveled through my lips. Even as Esme glared at me with pain and anger rippling across her face, I couldn't form the words. It was Bella—who was standing there as if she hadn't a care in the world—that broke the silence.

"Can we talk?" she asked, pushing past Esme. Her voice was softer than I had anticipated. Esme nodded and moved aside, although she had little choice. As I passed by, Esme quickly looked away.

Esme ignored Bella's question as she followed behind us into the ornate living room. "Can I get you something to drink?" Her voice sounded different to me—almost monotone—but she was still playing the role of a gracious hostess.

"Nothing for me, thanks," I said, finally finding my own voice, although it came out more like a hoarse whisper. Esme didn't even pause to glance in my direction which caused my heart to protest in the most vile manner imaginable. I shouldn't have been hurt by her standoffish behavior, but I was.

"I'll have a coke," Bella said with a grin. I caught her stare and shook my head. What was she thinking? This wasn't really a social call. As if she registered my disapproval, she changed her mind. "Actually, maybe we should just talk."

"I'm not really in the mood," Esme sighed, glancing between the two of us. "I only invited you in so that you could pick up the things you left behind the other day. I know perfectly well where I stand."

"I don't think that you do." Bella motioned to the floral couch near the wall. I had no idea where she was going with this, but for the moment, I was at her mercy.

With a grumble, Esme sat down, crossing her legs as she leaned back against the upholstery. Her eyes were cast downwards, and it was apparent to me that Esme had no interest in speaking with us. I couldn't blame her for that.

"What is this about?" she asked, sadness lacing her voice. "You both made it clear that you wanted to be together, and I really have nothing else to say."

"Well, I have plenty to say," Bella harshly replied. "Do you know why I started seeing Carlisle?"

Esme shook her head. Suddenly, I felt very exposed standing out here in the open with nothing to protect me except a measly pillow that lay off to my right. What was Bella up to?

"When Edward cheated on me, I needed help to get over that. I started seeing Carlisle as my therapist, but it blossomed into so much more than that. I thought that what I was doing was wrong, so I passed him off to you in hopes that you'd stop trying to make up for aiding Edward's affair. However, I did not expect to find myself jealous, and I took it out on both of you." Bella was finally telling Esme the truth, but it didn't seem to make much of an impact. Even as she continued, Esme carried on playing with the fringe on her gaudy, black sweater, seemingly oblivious to the conversation. "Carlisle is a good man, but so is Edward. You took something from me once, and I couldn't let you do it again. How could you continue to let Edward see Rosalie like that?"

"I…" Esme trailed off, fumbling for her words. I just stood there, paralyzed by my own set of fears. "He's my son. I just want what's best for him."

"No, you wanted what was best for _you_," Bella sneered. "You knew that I hadn't forgiven you for covering up Edward's indiscretion, so you thought that you could force Rosalie back into his life and be free of me forever."

Esme's eyes widened. "No—no, that's not true!"

"Bella, take it easy," I whispered, shooting her a worried glance.

"No! Why else would she invite both of them over for breakfast?" Bella snarled.

I turned to Esme. Bella had a point. "Is this true?"

"Fine," Esme moaned, throwing her hands up in the air. "Yes, it's true. Are you happy now?"

I was stunned, rocked to my core by the confession. "Why would you do something like that?"

"She hates me, Carlisle. Look at what she did to us! I thought that you loved me, and she took that all away because she couldn't stand to see me happy."

I sighed and took a seat on the couch beside Esme. She didn't move, although I felt her tense up like I was about to strike her—something that I would never do. "What you did was wrong."

"Don't you think I know that?" Esme rasped. "I have to live with what I did. Right now, Edward is out there in a state. He ran from me when I tried to explain that I thought he deserved better than _her_."

Bella flinched. Esme's words had struck a raw nerve, not only in Bella's heart, but also in my own. Was Esme that cruel? No, she couldn't be. I had never known the woman to be anything but lovely.

"So you hate me then," Bella sobbed. A single tear fell down her cheek, causing me to reach over the coffee table, and wipe away the sadness from her face. "Don't."

I pulled my hand back. My brows shot up of their own accord. "She doesn't have it in her to hate anybody."

"It's true," Esme said. "I hate her."

Bella pointed towards Esme, a smile of satisfaction playing about her face. I felt like I was back in my office, listening to a couple fighting back and forth about their trivial family arguments. I was off the clock, and shouldn't have ever put myself in this predicament. However, we were finally getting somewhere. I couldn't leave now.

"I thought that she would forgive me, but she didn't. I've done all I can to get back in her good graces, and none of it has done any good. Then she suggested I start seeing you, and for a long time, I thought she was happy for me. I'd sit there discussing our dates, just trying to find some sort of common ground, and the whole time, she was deceiving me. That's why I hate her."

"Because I took something away from you?" Bella asked. "How about what you did to me?"

"Hey, it's not a contest, ladies," I interjected with a little sigh. Why were they fighting over me like I wasn't even in the room? "I'm not an object. I'm a person with _real_ feelings and _real _emotions. Did either of you stop to think about that? I don't _belong_ to anyone."

_Except for you, Esme. I want to belong to you. Please, take me back._

I watched as Esme's shoulders slumped down. Tears began to well in her eyes, and although I wanted to reach out and soothe away her sadness, I had learned my lesson earlier with Bella and I wouldn't try that again. I instantly regretted my harsh statement.

"I know," Esme sobbed. "But I deserve to lose you. I should have been kinder to Bella."

"Yes, you should have," Bella agreed. "However, it was wrong of me to force Carlisle into your life, and then continue to see him. I wanted to apologize to both of you for that."

"I have already given you my forgiveness, Bella," I stated, turning towards Esme. "I fear, however, that if we are to work this out, then things will never be the same between you two. Perhaps it would be best if you got everything off of your chest."

God, I really was playing the part of a therapist here.

"What I did to you was wrong. When I first met you, I thought that you were the one for my Edward. Then, he started seeing Rosalie, and I could tell that he was unhappy with you. When you two got back together, he was like my old Edward again, only you wouldn't forgive me. You forgave _him_, but not _me_. Edward said that you had a right to hate me for helping him. I just couldn't process that. I…I don't really hate you, Bella. I'm sorry that I said I did." Esme looked away from us. I could tell she was extremely distressed.

"And I am sorry that I didn't forgive you in the first place. I thought that going to therapy would help with that, and I guess it did in a way. I'm ready to forgive you now, if you can forgive me for what I've done." Bella's voice broke on the last word.

Esme turned to me, her eyes clearly displaying rough, red edges around her the green tint that had always captured my attention. "Do you love her?"

I stopped breathing. What was I going to say to her with Bella in the very same room? I did love Bella, but it was a different kind of feeling now. Somewhere amidst all the recent chaos, the love that I held for Bella had changed. Over the past twenty-four hours, I'd witnessed her transform from a tempting succubus to a timid, shy teenager, and finally evolve into the strong, capable woman that rested only inches from my left hand. I had come to realize that no matter what obstacles she faced in her life, she would always find the strength to attack them head on. She didn't give herself enough credit for that. She needed me in an advisory capacity—that much was certain. However, I suddenly realized that I had unknowingly helped her come to terms with her own sexuality. She didn't need me for that anymore. Bella was going to be okay.

The question of whether or not I still loved her though was something I could easily answer. "Yes, but I love you more, Esme."

And I did. I knew now that I had always loved Esme, despite my feelings for Bella. Deep down, I think that Bella had always known that as well. Bella glanced at me now with a smile playing around the corners of her mouth as if she'd been counting on my confession. Esme, on the other hand, looked as shocked as I had been when Bella finally admitted to loving me in return.

"And do you love him?" Esme asked, slowly turning her face towards Bella.

"Yes, I always have," she answered. Before any of us could speak—before my heart could even have a chance to respond—Bella laughed. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but…we don't belong together. We have someone else that needs us more."

"What do you mean?" I asked, creasing my brow in confusion.

"Esme, do you love him? Can you promise to treat him with the respect that he deserves?" Bella ignored me, keeping her sights trained on Esme.

Again, I found myself entirely too uncomfortable. "I'm right here!" I grumbled. "Stop talking about me like I'm not in the room."

"Shh!" They both hushed me, simultaneously waving their hands in my direction as if my thoughts on the matter made no difference to them. Folding my arms, I huffed and silenced my words as they carried on with their conversation.

"I love him more than anything," Esme said, causing my heart to flutter. "I'm just not sure that I'm enough. I'm not as…experienced as you are. I saw how you catered to his body."

"You are enough!" I interrupted. _You are all I have ever wanted!_

"Will you shut up," Bella laughed, tossing her hand in my direction once more before addressing Esme. "I came here today to make things right between you and Carlisle. I owe you both that much. I love Edward. He is the other part of my soul. The love I have for Carlisle is different to that. I need to try and make things right with Edward, despite our breakup. If you can help me with that, I think I can help you with your little problem."

Oh, God! What an awkward conversation. Were they really sitting there discussing sex?

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea," I protested. "Esme, you are perfect as you are."

"I want to be able to do the things that she can," Esme said, not sparing a glance in my direction. The color had returned to her face though, and she seemed to have a new determination. I slinked back against the wall, covering my face with the sleeve of my jacket to hide my embarrassment. "Please, Carlisle, I need to know."

"If I do this for you, will you promise to help me get Edward back?" Bella was inching off of the couch.

"You have my word," Esme smiled. "Edward is lucky to have you, and I am sorry it took me this long to realize that."

"I'm breaking up with you, Carlisle," Bella said, quickly standing and brushing off a few pieces of dust from her pant leg. She was grinning slightly—something that I hadn't expected.

I started to back out of the room as Bella approached, swaying her hips in exactly the same manner as when she had accosted me in my apartment. I wasn't about to let her seduce me in front of Esme. What the hell was I going to do? "Oh, no—don't even think about it. This is _not_ a good idea."

"You talk too much," Bella smirked. "The first thing you need to learn, Esme, is that Carlisle is a sucker for a good shower."

The moment she said the words, I felt my cock twitch in anticipation. I couldn't believe that Esme was sitting there allowing this to happen—just watching us like an eager student. Bella hadn't even touched me yet, but the idea of having both these women caressing my body was overpowering any other thoughts in my mind. I wanted them so badly, but it would only cause more problems for Bella, wouldn't it?

"Don't do this," I feebly mumbled as Bella took a step towards me. "I know that you aren't technically with Edward at the moment, but this won't end well."

"Just relax," Bella whispered, taking another step. "Besides, I'm not going to be the one doing the touching."

I stopped moving and stared at Bella in shock. She was going to teach Esme all the dirty little things that kept me aroused whether I agreed to it or not. Like an obedient Labrador, I was lapping up every word now. Maybe I could have the best of both worlds after all.

"To make things perfectly clear," I said, allowing my hand to drop to my groin to ease the pressure expanding in my pants. "You and I are finished, Bella. Only Esme touches me?"

"Scouts honor," she grinned in return.

I still wasn't sure that this was a good idea, but I couldn't resist the temptation. They were both staring at me like I was a juicy steak in need of devouring. It may have been a trick of the light, but I thought I could see Esme drooling slightly from the corner of her mouth.

"And the other thing you need to know…" Bella paused, glancing once over her shoulder to wink at Esme. "Is that if you want his attention, just call him Doctor Cullen."

The name left her lips like a purr, forcing my engorged shaft to grow to its fullest. The next thing I knew, they both descended on me like a pack of rabid wolves.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As always, a huge thanks to my beta Hmmille and all the people who have been reading the story. I know it might not have turned out as you hoped, but I still hope you had fun reading it. There are 2 chapters to go plus an epilogue, and a little cameo from Bella's POV. I'm heading out of town but I will try to update again this coming weekend. xx**


	21. Chapter 21: Clarity

**Chapter Twenty One—Clarity**

_BPOV_

"My name is Bella Swan. I'm twenty two years old, and I'm engaged to be married."

Those were the first words that I had ever spoken to Doctor Carlisle Cullen. From the moment that we met, I knew I had to have him. He was the epitome of perfection—short, blonde hair, a muscular physique, smart, kind, and unbelievably sexy. Carlisle had the entire package, and if it hadn't of been for the fact that I was about to marry Edward, I would have jumped him the second I walked into his office. Believe me, I wanted to.

Edward had cheated on me for months with the help of his mother. When I found out about the affair, I'd enlisted the aid of a therapist in an effort to move past the issues in our relationship. I had felt used, manipulated, and not worthy of being loved—even though I loved Edward beyond reason. Doctor Cullen made me realize that I really was worth something—that there would always be hurdles in my life, and that I had the ability to overcome them all. I fell for him right then and there.

At first, I'd seduced Carlisle out of pure revenge. I wanted Edward to feel the pain that he'd inflicted upon me, regardless of our reconciliation. I'd always thought that our mundane sex was the reason that he decided to sleep with Rosalie, so I wanted to show someone—anyone—what I was really capable of. Edward never really cared too much for the kinky shit, or at least that's what I had thought at the time. After I learned about Rosalie, Edward told me that she was a tiger in the bedroom which had sent me onto my path of self-discovery. If I wanted to keep Edward in my life, I needed to learn from someone with experience.

Once Carlisle had requested that we never indulge in our desires ever again, I was angry. I knew I had more to give than just a quick fuck in the office. I'd surprised myself that day, going above and beyond my normal spectrum of sexual behavior. I'd realized then that I couldn't stop when there was so much more that I needed to learn about myself. I didn't want to be the girl that backed down from every argument, or the one that was always on the bottom—the missionary position did nothing for me.

Then Esme ruined everything. She continually bashed me after I refused to forgive her. I pushed her towards Carlisle in an effort to cease her incessant babble, only it caused a raging jealousy to swell in my chest. I couldn't allow her to be with the one person that actually made me feel good about myself. That had been the moment when I started sneaking around with Carlisle.

I fell in love with him, but it wasn't the same as what I felt for Edward. I needed Carlisle in my life because he made me feel strong, and he had actually cared about my feelings in the bedroom. I had used him to fill a part of myself that had been emotionally scarred by Edward. But as the weeks flew by, I had begun to realize that his affections were misplaced. I couldn't allow him to fall in love with me when my heart belonged to Edward.

Feeling torn between the two men in my life, I had played a dangerous game of vengeance—retaliation against Esme and Edward, all the while clinging to Carlisle like he was a God. It had been wrong of me, and once I'd shown up at his apartment after Thanksgiving, I knew that the mess I had made could never be repaired. What I hadn't counted on was Carlisle's compassion.

He had taken me into his home and shown me what it was like to be an honest person. Like a violin whose strings had been worn over countless decades, I'd played him. It hadn't been intentional, however, and at that point, I came clean. I'd expected him to toss me out into the street, but he didn't. Instead, he pulled me into his arms and promised to make everything all right.

Now, he was sitting across from me confessing his undying love to Edward's mother—the person that had stolen away the only man that had ever made me feel worth something. I'd known for quite some time—especially after seeing that note in his dresser drawer when I went to change clothes—that they were in love. It was as blatantly obvious as the stain on Esme's pants. The scary thing was, I wasn't even upset about it. They belonged together. It took me awhile to figure that out, but I knew that my own misplaced hatred of Esme had done some severe damage to this man that I cared so deeply about. And it was up to me to set things right.

I suddenly realized my own egregious error in judgment. There had been no reason for me to seek out revenge on Edward. I loved him beyond any measure of time. We'd worked through our differences, and I had allowed myself to be caught up in a tangled web of lies that was probably destroying his very soul right now—not to mention the hearts belonging to the pair of lovers across from me.

"I love him more than anything," Esme said. "I'm just not sure that I'm enough. I'm not as…experienced as you are. I saw how you catered to his body."

Something sharp stabbed me in my gut, causing me to feel as though my insides were being picked apart by a vulture in search of its next meal. We'd just forgiven each other for all our misdeeds, but I still felt as though I had more to make up for.

"You are enough!" Carlisle shouted, interrupting our conversation. I smiled slightly as he said the words. There was the man that I knew and loved—the gentle man that deserved better than me.

In my mind, a dirty thought was beginning to form that would either rock his world, or bring it crashing down. I found myself intrigued with the idea of showing Esme how to handle a man, but at the same time, I wasn't sure that I should. It was a little freaky, even for me. However, I could see no other way out of our predicament. Esme was always going to feel as though she wasn't enough. I had been there before. It was something that I couldn't bear watching another person go through when I could do something about it.

"Will you shut up," I laughed, waving my hand in the air. He'd already interjected enough for one day. I needed to concentrate on repairing my own love life, and I didn't need to hear anything rational at this point. I was well past the edge of my sanity. The ideas swirling in my mind were crazy at best. "I came here today to make things right between you and Carlisle. I owe you both that much. I love Edward. He is the other part of my soul. The love I have for Carlisle is different to that. I need to try and make things right with Edward, despite our breakup. If you can help me with that, I think I can help you with your little problem."

There, I said it. Oh, God, I'd said it! Was I really about to show Esme how to touch Carlisle like he'd always wanted? I mean, it was kinky enough for me, but would Esme even entertain the idea? Lord, what if she told Edward? Was the fuck was I doing?

"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea," Carlisle protested. "Esme, you are perfect as you are."

Hearing those words spill from Carlisle's lips just strengthened my resolve. Edward had once told me that I was perfect, and I knew how Esme must be feeling. There was no sound more glorious in the world than the person that you loved telling you how perfect you were. I knew that this had to be done. They deserved to be happy, and I had to make this right in any way that I could. If I could teach Esme, then I could handle Edward.

I sighed. I missed him so much—his touch, his lips pressed against mine, and his sheltering arms wrapped around me as we slept in perfect harmony. It had been so long since I felt that peace. It was about time I reclaimed it.

"I want to be able to do the things that she can," Esme said, keeping her eyes on me. Oh shit, she was actually agreeing to this. My hands started to shake as fear swept through me. Even though I had been the one to offer, I was still nervous.

"If I do this for you, will you promise to help me get Edward back?" I inched off of the couch, glancing toward Esme with hope in my eyes. Edward would listen to her. We would be all right if she helped. I was bargaining the only way I knew how—with sex. There was no other alternative. Esme and Carlisle needed to be together, I'd always known that. They were perfect for one another, just like Edward was perfect for me.

"You have my word," Esme smiled. "Edward is lucky to have you, and I am sorry it took me this long to realize that."

That was all I had ever wanted to hear. I had a new purpose now. If I could show Esme a few tricks, then I was confident that she would honor her promise and aid me in getting the love of my life back. I needed Edward. I was hollow without him, just a shell of a woman walking around without clarity or conscious.

"I'm breaking up with you, Carlisle," I said, quickly standing up and brushing a smidge of dust from my pant leg. Flashing Carlisle a grin, I began to approach him. I could already see the familiar bulge growing between his thighs—so delectable, so inviting, and no longer my concern. He belonged to Esme now. I just had one last task to accomplish before I could let him go for good.

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><p><strong>AN: And I'm back from vacation! Thank you hmmille for being my rock! I thought that Bella deserved to show her thoughts from the beginning of her adventures to the end which is why I gave her a chapter of her own. I wanted to show that she wasn't always as manipulative as she became during the story, that she does feel bad, and that there is hope for all the characters after all. Happy endings don't always happen as we expect them to. There is just one more chapter left and the Epilogue. Hope you enjoy :)**


	22. Chapter 22: A New Beginning

**Chapter Twenty Two—A New Beginning**

"Stop being a baby," Bella snapped at me as she strapped Esme's arm to the bedpost.

I was standing completely naked in Esme's bedroom, covering my aching cock with the palms of my hands. Everything had happened so quickly; one minute I was standing in the living room, and then I was stripped of my clothes and tossed into the shower with Esme. And I hadn't protested in the slightest. Not even when Bella began to wash me did I even utter a syllable. Esme had watched and followed her movements with ease, just caressing my skin with the velvet touch of her fingertips.

There had been only one rule between my girls—since they had both already seen me naked, they had decided to remain clothed to teach me a lesson. Neither one of them had shed any clothing during the entire ordeal which made me feel as though I was being given some sort of pleasurable punishment. I was the only one baring myself to the world. Perhaps I really was in need of a good spanking after all I had put them through. Part of me was thoroughly aroused by the idea.

"Why are you both doing this?" I quietly asked. I was still completely floored that Esme had agreed because she didn't need to be taught anything. I enjoyed the romantic side that Esme brought out in me. However, I was itching to see what Bella had in store for us.

"I want to show you that I am capable of what Bella can do," Esme purred. God, she looked so hot just lying there, even in her baggy clothes. The hem of her black shirt dripped onto the bedspread from where she'd inched into the shower. I just wanted to tear the clothes from her body, but I couldn't do that with Bella standing right there, whispering directions in her ear.

"You don't have to prove anything to me," I said, taking a step towards the bed. "I love you just as you are, you know that. This…" I motioned with my hand towards the display of bondage in front of me, unsure of why it made me so aroused. "This isn't necessary."

"Stop right there!" Bella shouted, halting me in my tracks. "You move when we tell you to move." She turned to Esme with a sly grin. "See, he does listen."

"I'm feeling a little exposed out here," I whined, giving my cock a little squeeze. As my fingertips brushed across my tip, I let out a moan of satisfaction. My eyes closed instantly, and I fell back against the wall, wanting nothing more than to release everything that had been building up since Bella took control of the situation. I no longer cared what was right or wrong, as long as it led me to Esme.

"And that is why I'm leaving. You two belong together, and I've done what I can," Bella laughed. "Good luck to both of you, and I'm sorry for what I did. Esme…he's a good man. Be kind to him."

"Bella, wait," I said, opening one eye. "Are you sure that you want to go back to Edward? Is this really what you want?"

I couldn't help but ask. Just because we were no longer together didn't mean that I wanted to see her upset all over again.

"He hurt me, but I've also hurt him. Something went wrong in our relationship and I need to fix it. I love him, Carlisle. I always have. And he loves me too…I won't give up on him."

"But all the lies…"

She held up her hand to stop me and I shut my eyes tightly as I listened to her confident words. "If I've learned anything from you, it's that love conquers all. It just took me a really long time to figure that out. I have to forgive him if I want to earn my own forgiveness. We have a lot to work on, but I know in my heart that this is what I want. I can't explain it."

"If he hurts you…"

"He won't," they both said in unison.

"Goodbye, Carlisle, and thank you," Bella whispered.

I didn't open my eyes, but I could feel the warmth of her body as she swept past me. Bella had given me the greatest gift that I could have ever hoped for. She had given me my Esme back, a slightly more outgoing Esme, but she was still mine nonetheless. I wished her all the best with Edward, and prayed that they would find peace with each other.

"This is a new beginning for us...for all of us," Esme crooned as I opened one eye. She was tied to the bed, and the sheets underneath her were ruffled from the constant sway of her hips as she moved them back and forth along the covers. "I will do whatever it takes to make this up to you."

I allowed my other hand to fall from my throbbing cock. I desperately needed to quell the urgent, pleasurable sensations ripping up and down my shaft. My dick had never been this hard before. It was erotic to the point of pain. However, as kinky as the situation was, I just couldn't fathom having Esme in this context. She was only doing this to appease the side of me that longed for something outside the realm of what was considered to be normal.

"You don't need to do this," I whispered as I sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for the red, silk scarf that held Esme's hand to the wooden bedpost.

"I want to," she answered, pleading with her eyes. "Please, can we try?"

My head drooped as I released a sigh. "Before we dive into anything, I think I should apologize." Esme tilted her head, surveying me with a mixture of adoration and confusion. "What I did to you was wrong. I had tried so many times to break it off with Bella, and tell you the truth. I was a fool to let it go on as long as it did. You don't have to pretend that you enjoy any of this. I want you in my life because you love me, not because you feel guilty, or less than adequate. I don't want to be your fallback. I want to be your husband."

I hadn't meant to say the words, but as I did, I could feel the strength to them ricochet through my body. I wanted to be more than just her boyfriend. My apology would mean nothing if she didn't love me in return.

"What are you saying?" she asked breathlessly.

"Marry me, Esme. I love you. It's always been you." I held my breath.

Esme wiggled around on the bed—practically squirming by the time that I looked back to her—causing me to worry for her state of mind. Perhaps I had overstepped my bounds. "Are you okay?"

She laughed. "Untie me!"

"Oh—of course," I chuckled in return, though I was still nervous that she was having some kind of seizure.

I quickly removed the silk scarf that held her right hand to the bedpost, and as I reached across her chest, she lurched up, crashing into my lips with a sudden fury. My mouth met hers, eagerly tangling with her tongue that still tasted like fresh cinnamon—a flavor that I had missed tremendously. Arousal flooded my body, reaching straight into my center and causing a plethora of emotions to surface within me. I wrapped my arm around her back and pulled her closer, just needing to savor every pass of her tongue, and every urgent moan that rushed up her throat.

"Yes," she whispered against my lips. "I love you. My answer is yes."

I sighed happily and brought my mouth down on hers again, forgetting about her hand that was still tied to the bed. After forty years, I had finally reached that point in life that everyone wished for. I would never be happier than I was right at this very moment.

As her clothes were shed and we joined together like two perfectly shaped puzzle pieces, I knew that I would spend the rest of my life proving to Esme that she was my angel. I had found love in the strangest of ways, and I was never going to let it go.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you so much for reading my story! Bella is with Edward, Carlisle with Esme...although I will tell you, that final decision only came about after writing chapter 21. Up until that point, I had every intention of having Bella stay with Carlisle, however, I felt that he'd be better off with Esme. There is a big difference between lust and love in Carlisle's mind and also in the story. We can learn to forgive people when love is concerned, as is the case with Edward and Bella. They both wronged each other, but sometimes it takes something extreme to make the other person realize what they have and what they are giving up. As Bella says, Love conquers all.**

**I hope that this has answered some of your questions, and I really want to thank SuzAddiction for staying with me throughout the whole story, and my beta Hmmille for putting up with me and for doing such an incredible job! **

**This is the final chapter. There IS an epilogue to tie the story together which I will post this week! I'm hoping it will give a good conclusion to the drama!**

**Until then...happy reading! ~Vix~**


	23. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

A fresh blanket of snow decorated the ground, casting a gleam of white across the front window as rays of afternoon sunlight broke through the clouds. The Mercedes sat parked on the long driveway next to Esme's Audi, begging for some attention. The muddied debris lingering around the wheel wells would have to wait until later, though; Esme hated to be kept waiting when dinner was about to be served.

"Will you come away from that window," Esme laughed, entering the front room with a stack of dishes in her hands.

She looked radiant as she passed by the fireplace. The glowing embers seemed to brighten her cheeks, throwing splashes of warmth against her skin. She had spared no expense today. Everything from the neatly laid table to the blue dress that amplified the curves of her hips was perfect in every regard. Instantly, I crossed the open space between us, removed the heavy burden of dishes, and took her in my arms.

"You're tempting fate, Mrs. Cullen," I whispered in her ear. "You know I can't resist you."

She swatted me away, but not before pinching my ass with her delectable fingers. "You will wake up Jacob."

I chuckled and placed a tender kiss on her plump lips. "The boy would sleep through a tornado. We have time for a quickie."

"Doctor Cullen!" She roared with laughter and backed up to the oak table. "You will have to wait."

"Patience is not my strongest suit," I smirked, sliding my hands between her thighs. She let out a little moan of pleasure as my fingers swept over the silk fabric covering her entrance.

She leaped back, her eyes wide with excitement. My moment was over, though my cock hadn't realized that fact yet. It was aching for her touch, but Esme was already halfway to the door.

"They're here!" she exclaimed. I turned just in time to see her succulent ass bouncing under the disheveled hem of her dress.

"Darling, adjust yourself…" I brought my fist to my mouth to cut off the groan that I knew could erupt at any moment.

"You should do the same," she smirked, glancing down to the thick bulge in my pants. Instantly, I shifted my cock to the side, doing my best to beat down the flames of desire.

She tossed a flirtatious glance my way, fixed her dress, and pried open the front door. Edward and Bella came bursting through, carrying packages of all different sizes. But there was only one precious bundle that I had desperately wanted to see—my grandson, Ben. He shuffled through the door wearing his trademark smile that always seemed to light the room.

"GRANDPA!" he shrieked, pushing through the gathered crowd and running into my arms.

"Merry Christmas, kiddo," I shouted, hoisting him up.

Edward stepped forward, shaking his head as he leaned over and whispered in my ear. "He just had about a gallon of milk in the car. I'd be careful if I were you."

Bella laughed. "He did not. Don't let him fool you."

"Nothing wrong with milk," Esme winked as she took their coats and tucked them neatly in the hallway closet.

Placing Ben on the floor, I shook hands with Edward. So much had passed between us in the last few years, and yet our relationship was better than ever. It had taken time to get over our past transgressions, but once Esme and I adopted Jacob, things just fell into place. Edward wanted to be involved in our lives—something that made us both equally happy. When Bella had Benjamin, we all felt as if we had really become a family. After the initial shock of both having children roughly the same age, things just seemed to progress naturally. If Steve Martin could do it, so could we. Esme had always wanted another child. Who was I to refuse her?

Esme and I had moved to Forks—a quaint little town outside of Seattle. I had taken a position at the local hospital doing emergency work after going back to school. Therapy would always be one of my more refined talents, but Esme had supported my wish to dive deeper into the medical field. With the help of my associates—who to this very day remain unaware of my ethical breech of conduct—I'd finally completed my residency. Esme had started her own restoration business right before the adoption which had grown exponentially over the past six years. Our combined salaries had given us a chance to build our dream home in the woods—a massive three story house with the entire southern facing wall full of floor to ceiling windows. Esme had designed it herself, and I couldn't have been more proud of her.

Edward had been given a promotion, and was now working in Seattle as the head of operations for a local marketing firm. Bella had decided that raising her son meant more to her than any job—which Edward fully supported—and spent most of her days involved with Ben's school. With another baby on the way, I couldn't imagine anyone—besides my wife—that was better suited for motherhood. She had a glow surrounding her that lit a fire in her eyes. It was something that only Edward could bring to her life. Bella had made the right decision by letting me go, and not a day went by that I didn't silently thank her for making that choice.

It was difficult to face Bella again after she married Edward, but there were no hard feelings between us anymore. In fact, there were no feelings at all other than the love we shared as a family. Our past relationship was long forgotten.

"I'm going to be four next week!" Ben proclaimed, flying off towards the kitchen like Superman. Esme toddled after him like the loving grandmother that she was.

"I'd better go help," Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He's likely to burn the house down."

Bella blew him a kiss as he descended the white stairs into the kitchen, and then rubbed her growing belly. "He's dreading having a girl, you know. I swear he's got a complex about it."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, and laughed under my breath. "Well, I happen to know a good therapist."

~THE END~

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><p><strong>AN: I want to thank you so much for reading my story. I've been writing this since November, so it's a bittersweet ending for me. I'll miss putting Carlisle into some intense situations and giggling at his discomfort. He's my favorite character in the series, so it was fun to play around and try to maintain some canon pairings. I hope that the epilogue gave a sense of closure. I've been asked to continue writing this story in a sequel or even re-writing the ending to incorporate Bella, but at this time I'm working on a few other projects that are pressing. So right now there are no plans to continue. **

**I'd like to give a massive thank you to the woman who has helped me through all of this, Hmmille. She's an incredible beta and is always so very patient and understanding. Another big shout out to suzaddiction for sticking with this! Her support means a lot. Another round of thanks to all of you for giving your feedback!**

**So what am I working on now? **

**_Shameful Desires_- The first chapter is posted on my account as it was for the naughty or nice contest. I've said in the past that I would like to continue this so I might do that. Jasper/Bella**

**_The Road to Hell_- I also have an old Jacob/Nessie canon story that I am thinking of posting which involves the entire Cullen family as well as the wolves. I'm not sure if the title will change when I get around to posting it. Jake/Ness**

**_Silent Angel_- my entry for the Truly Anon contest. I'll get that one shot up soon. Edward/Bella**

**_City of Dreams_- A mortal Instruments Fanfic that's posted on my account. I'm working on the next chapter now. Izzy/Simon**

**_Baker's Dozen_- Hunger Games fanfic from Peeta's POV. This is on the backburner. Peeta/Katniss**

**I'm also currently writing my first novel which takes up a lot of free time.**

**Lastly, if you're looking for an amazing AU, you might want to check out _'Push and Pull'_ by Hmmille. It's an incredible story that will get you hooked from the get go!**

**Thank you guys so much! It's the end of the road for _A Little Therapy_. Until next time, happy reading!**


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